Dad 'devastated' after wife lies about sex of their baby in 'ultimate betrayal'
A father-to-be says he was left "devastated" after learning his wife had lied to him about the sex of their unborn baby, but now fears he may have "overreacted" somewhat. According to this 32-year-old man, who is expecting his first child, he never had a strong bond with his own father and had always "envisioned" having such a close relationship with his future son. His pregnant wife has long been well aware of his "deep-rooted desire" for a son, so much so that she decided to lie to protect his feelings.
The first-time dad ended up missing his wife's early pregnancy appointments, due to essential work trips, so his wife's adoptive mother attended them in his absence. Upon his return, he was overjoyed to hear they were expecting a little boy, but not everything was as it initially seemed.
Taking to Reddit, the distraught dad wrote: "We invested emotionally and financially: a blue nursery, boy-themed items, even naming him after my late grandfather. However, a chance remark from her mother disclosed we're having a girl. My wife admitted she knew from the beginning but didn't tell me, thinking she was protecting my feelings. I was devastated, feeling the weight of past hurts and fresh betrayals. In my pain, I cleared out the nursery and, in a moment I regret, told her mother she wasn't welcome at upcoming family events, seeing her as part of the deceit."
The unnamed man went on to clarify that he still loves his wife and that his extreme reaction was due to "deep-seated emotions and past traumas". He now deeply regrets his actions and fully admits he overreacted but feels at a loss as to what to do next. Although many fellow Reddit users agreed that his wife shouldn't have lied, they also felt the furious dad was still completely out of order for acting the way he did. A number of people even understood why the wife had felt under pressure to lie, judging by how disappointed he was at the prospect of having a girl.
One person commented: "I cannot imagine why she thought it would be less painful for you to think you were having a boy and then disappoint you later. Getting your hopes up accomplishes nothing. That said…you very much did overreact in clearing out the nursery and disinviting her mother from coming over. This reaction is crazy and your talking about this pain and devastation surrounding having a girl is probably the reason she was afraid to tell you. Because she probably wants to be excited about this child and didn't want to deal with you acting like it’s something devastating that it's a girl.
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"Also, you are projecting wayyyy too much on an unborn child. What if you did have a boy, but he wasn't as interested in this intense father-son relationship that you are craving? Can any real-life father-son relationship actually even live up to the one in your head that is supposed to heal your past wounds? Your kids are real people, don't set them up for failure by having all these weird expectations for how they will better your existing traumas."
Another agreed: "The fact that men are often disappointed by our very existence as women, even in utero, continues to highlight society's s***** view of women. Sorry we exist? Sorry you think you can’t live out your Field of Dreams fantasies with us? That we aren’t worthy of a relationship with you or overall love since you ASSUME we don't want to fish with you? It's actually you that doesn't want to include us due to archaic gender roles. Why do you assume a son would want to do this with you?!? She shouldn't have lied, but it's quite clear why she did. I really hate this s***."
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