Woman dubs pals 'invaders' after they treat her home like 'free holiday let'
It's nice to be able spend time with your pals, even if you only see them a few times a year, but it can be mentally exhausting if said friends have high expectations of you and make "assumptions" about your friendship, treating your home like "a free holiday let" when they visit, and essentially doing as they please.
One fuming woman took to Babycentre to explain that her husband's school friend, his wife, and their children would "come round a few times a year", but she wasn't happy about the way things were going when they decided to stay for "four nights instead of their usual two" - and the experience ended up being "horrific."
The woman explained that the guests "arrived on Friday and left on Monday", complaining that they "essentially treat our house like a free holiday let." She explained "last time they came they didn't actually ask if they could come again", raging that she "sure as hell didn't invite them."
She said: "They made an assumption that they'd be coming and started making arrangements and finding dates and before I knew it they'd decided that they'd be here this weekend for four nights instead of their usual two (my absolute limit). That was this weekend and it was horrific. The wife decides she's on holiday upon arrival and stops parenting the kids. They leave them to play with our daughter (eight) and for us to check on them."
And checking on someone else's children may not seem too bad, but she described their kids as "high-energy, demanding, and completely lacking in manners." The woman also claimed that "the husband starts drinking pretty much straight after lunch, and doesn't stop until bed time." But the issues didn't stop there, as he also "helps himself to whatever he wants from the kitchen."
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She fumed: "He also spends all his time with us pratting about with our Alexa device or on youtube through our TV. He'll put on some c**p music, set it to an obnoxious volume, and then a word or phrase in a conversation will remind him of a song that prompts him to get Alexa/youtube to play more c**p music. This goes on all day and into the night and gets worse as he drinks more and when the wife joins in with the same behaviour. It drives me bonkers.
"Last time they were round he did ask me if there was something if like to listen to once. That was good of him. In addition to this, we have a proper good clean and tidy before they arrive - the house is always immaculate when they walk through the door. Within seconds their c**p is all over the place, we're talking half a dozen bags in the hallway at least, shoes everywhere (far more shoes than feet -why?!), the kids have started taking toys out of my daughter's room and they're all over the house, there's no space in the fridge and I'm pretty sure they've never turned a light off when they've left a room all the time they've been here."
It got far too much for the mum that she "cracked", and went to stay with her parents. She admitted that she "didn't speak to them" when she left as she felt she would've "caused a massive scene." She said that she couldn't have "calmly and politely" told them to leave as she "wasn't in that sort of headspace."
She finished her post by writing: "I also realise this weekend should never have happened and I should've been assertive enough to stop them coming in the first place. Lesson learned. As I left I told my husband, I'd like them gone as soon as possible as I felt it was unfair that I was being forced out of my own home. When my husband dropped in on me later on Sunday afternoon, I repeated this and he said he'd speak to them about leaving on Monday instead of the intended Tuesday morning.
"I said I'd rather they went that afternoon (Sunday) but sure. It turns out that afternoon my husand and house invaders arranged to go swimming today and he only spoke to them about cutting the visit short this morning. So I've spent until 4.30 today waiting for them to go so I can get my house back. Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to have my back on this? He's the one cleaning up after their chaos anyway but seeing how distressed I was getting, would it be too much to hope he'd put my wellbeing above the feelings of people who can't put a cold drink on a coaster?"
In the comments, people reassured the woman that the weekend was over and she could move on from it - but there were things she could learn for the future. One wrote: "It's your home and safe space. You need to agree on terms going forwards so this does not happen again. This past weekend is done, move on from it with lessons learned on both sides, there’s no need to fall out or lay blame. You're both responsible adults and either of you could have voiced concerns or changed things at any time. Now agree on moving forward with do's and don'ts, house rules, and if they'll ever be allowed to return or not."
Someone else commented: "I'd expect my husband to have my back too. I can't believe your husband's friend thinks it's acceptable to essentially invite themselves round and just have utter disregard for someone else's home! I would definitely talk to your husband about them not coming over and staying again. If they want to see you, surely they can stay somewhere else within the area you live?"
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