Woman livid over 'audacity' of dating app match who sent her appalling message

29 July 2023 , 11:58
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The woman was appalled by the man
The woman was appalled by the man's message (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Navigating the world of dating can be tricky, and if you've ever spent time on dating apps then you'll know just how draining it can be to swipe through endless profiles of people you're not interested in before you find one that takes your fancy. And what's more, there's no guarantee there'll be any spark when you do land on someone you like the look of.

One woman's recent interaction on a dating app left her seething, however, after the man she matched with sent her a rude and uncalled-for message after 20 minutes of making casual conversation - and just two minutes after asking if they could move their conversation to another platform.

The woman explained the man she matched with owned a gym and was clearly very interested in keeping fit, but it baffled her when he sent her a message telling her she needed to "work hard" on herself because she "looked bloated" and could do with losing some weight.

In a post on Reddit, the furious woman said: "A guy from a dating app just told me 'you need to work on yourself'. Same old story - just matched with a guy, and we chatted for maybe 20 minutes. He owned a gym and had a bunch of videos of him working out. (On a verified account with 6k followers).

"He asks to follow my private account, and since I'm careful not to post a lot of personal details, I sent him my handle and accepted his follow request. Less than two minutes later, I get a message from him saying 'You look nice but you need to work hard on yourself'. I'm stunned, ask him to explain himself and he says 'You look bloated and need to lose weight'. He started talking to me 20 minutes ago."

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The woman couldn't believe the "audacity" of the man to criticise her appearance so soon after starting their conversation and was completely perplexed at how someone can be so rude.

She added: "I just do not understand the audacity of commenting on a person's perceived fitness in 20 minutes, expecting that to be a good idea. And then he has the audacity to add that 'You're still cute, don't feel bad'. I'm sure he is telling this story to his friends where he is the innocent victim giving well-meaning advice while I'm the b***h who flipped out.

"Am I overreacting? This Cannot be truthfully how someone thinks they should talk to someone they just met no? I work out six times a week, and I'm what one would consider to be a completely average weight."

Commenters on the post were firmly on the woman's side, with many telling her that the man likely had no interest in getting to know her, but was instead trying to sell her a gym membership at his own business.

One person said: "A lot of people on dating apps aren't actually looking for someone to date. They are promoting their side hustles. This guy could do this to lots of people with the hope that some of them will want to sign up for personal training sessions or purchase supplements."

While another added: "He has no intention of dating. He is just on there to promote his business and wants you to sign up. It's not personal, he was never going to date anyone. Report him to the site."

Other commenters thought the man was being cruel on purpose as a way to try and "manipulate" her. Someone told the woman: "I have to imagine men like this do s**t like this as a screening tactic. They can't handle being with a strong woman who stands up for herself, so they lead with an aggressive test to see how compliant and easy to manipulate you are."

Zahna Eklund

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