Child psychologist warns school drop-off mistake makes kids more upset

05 February 2024 , 12:19

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There's a common mistake parents make at the school gate (Image: Getty Images)

A child psychologist claims there's a 'sneaky' blunder lots of parents make when they leave their children at school that could be upsetting them even more.

When a child starts nursery or school it can be a difficult time for both them and their parents or carers as it often marks the first time they will have spent any significant period away from each other.

Tears at the school gate are a common sight as a distraught tot clings onto its mum or dad and a teacher or nursery worker tries to peel them off. The whole experience can be a difficult milestone to navigate as each day brings the same scenario.

However, a child psychologist has revealed that despite only having the best intentions, parents could actually be adding to their little one's upset if they do one thing at drop off and that many people do it.

She claims one of the biggest errors made at nursery or school when a child is upset they are being left there is when the parent leaves without saying goodbye and sneaks away.

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Amanda told Kidspot: "As much as it may seem like a less painful option, NEVER sneak away when saying your goodbyes. Sneaking away will just create further anxiety for your child and confuse the concept."

Instead of trying to slip out the door unnoticed, she suggests other ways to manage a ‘good goodbye’.

These include:

• Pass your child to the educator.

• Say your goodbyes and tell them you’ll be back later to pick them up.

• Yes, a lot of children will have a meltdown and be upset at this time.

• Most are totally fine within 5 minutes and there are certainly lots of distractions to keep them busy.

• Never lie to them and offer them realistic expectations; e.g. if another family member or carer will collect them at the end of the day, give your child full warning so they can mentally prepare for this.

Although it can be a difficult time for the family, Amanda emphasises that nursery or school is an important and positive stage of a child’s development that provides them with educational and socialisation skills for their future.

She believes that consistency, as well as some earlier nights are key with helping both parent and child to settle into their new norm with as little upset as possible.

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What do you think of Amanda’s warning on sneaking away at drop off? Let us know in the comments below.

Beth Hardie