'I'm pregnant with my ex-husband's baby – his new girlfriend has no idea'
A woman has candidly told of her ‘horror and heartbreak’ after finding out she is pregnant with her ex-husband’s baby, while he is in a relationship with someone else. And while the couple had been married for 10 years, with three children, aged five, eight, and 10, she also revealed that a fourth child was never on the couple’s agenda, especially as they have been divorced for over a year.
After telling she had been heartbroken and feeling like a ‘failure’ when she filed for divorce, she revealed their relationship became platonic very quickly, with the couple agreeing to split their time with their children equally: “That part is really hard for me because being a mum is such a huge part of my identity that I still sometimes struggle to know what to do with myself during his time with the kids,” she admitted.
And while she was happy he was a ‘loving, involved father' to their children she found it incredibly hard when he met his new girlfriend: “She seems nice. He met her not long after our divorce was finalised. It hurt. I cried way too much over it. He waited over six months to introduce her to our kids, which I was thankful for. My kids like her.”
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However the tale took an unexpected twist when their youngest child was taken to hospital for surgery: “This is my baby and he had to spend multiple nights in the hospital, so this was a big deal for me,” she said.
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After telling how her ex-husband was there the entire time: “Being a great dad, being a supportive ‘partner’ to me as I worried over every little thing,” she revealed the incident led her to remember why she married him: “He was always able to be the strong, level headed rock for me. He was this safe person who I knew would take care of everything and protect me. When we were in the hospital he told me that I’m the most important woman in his life, still.”
That evening, her husband stayed over, with the couple having sex twice that night, both agreeing the next day that their emotions had got the better of them: “We said we didn’t regret sleeping together, but that’s all it was and we were just going to go back to our normal divorced lives. We wouldn’t make it awkward, just move on.”
However, after finding out she was pregnant, she admitted they hadn’t used protection: “We didn’t use a condom. I’m not on birth control. I know I was ovulating when we slept together, which was probably a contributing subconscious factor as to why it happened. My body sees him being a good dad to our kids and it wants another!”
She also admitted to her cycle being ‘like clockwork’ with the couple always conceiving on the first try with each of their children. Now I’m eight weeks pregnant. I’ve known for about a week. I just told him this past weekend. I didn’t know if I would tell him at all. I realise now that I only told him in the hope that he’d tell me what to do and figure the situation out for me. Only he didn’t,” she said.
“I know it makes no sense to have a baby with somebody I chose to divorce. I don’t need a fourth child. Why can’t I let go of this though? I’m so conflicted.” After taking her pregnancy problem to Reddit, readers were quick to question why she hadn’t used protection: “You willingly slept with a taken man, while ovulating, without protection, despite knowing that you get pregnant easily, on the first try.
"That reads as if you want him back and thought another baby will reunite your family. Maybe that was an unconscious decision, but you made it,” said one confused reader. Another agreed wholeheartedly, saying: “You've admitted to being aware you were ovulating. Didn't use protection. Weren't on birth control. Know you're fertile af. And knew your ex is in a serious relationship. I get the impression you wanted this. You thought getting pregnant would make your ex come running back to you.”
One was shocked by her divorce dilemma: “So wait, he’s got a girlfriend but now you’re pregnant? And how is that going to be explained to her? Because he just cheated?” while another suggested therapy: “How messy… Nobody can tell you whether to abort or not, but a therapist is definitely what you need.”
"If you keep this child, it will miss out on all the things its older siblings got, and then some,” commented one. “You will have to explain a very weird situation to this child as they get older if your ex-husband stays with his new partner. It's a whole new set of trauma you don't need to put yourself or your kids through.”
One offered advice from a similar situation they had experienced themselves: “I don't know what the right answer is for you. However, your situation prior to the pregnancy sounds a lot like mine. If he was the man then that he is now, we would still be together. Hands down. If this is the case for you, I think the baby is a blessing. Good luck to you all, I hope it works out.”
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