'Sister-in-law exposed my cheating over family dinner - but it backfired on her'

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The man
The man's 'cheating' has caused a major fallout in the family (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Every relationship is different and what might work for some, wouldn’t fly for others - particularly when it comes to monogamy. One man who has a somewhat ‘open’ marriage with his wife has revealed how their lifestyle was broadcasted to her entire family over Christmas lunch, with devastating results.

Taking to social media to ask for advice on how to handle the fallout, the 32-year-old man explained that his wife, 27, was in a hiking accident two years ago and injured so severely that she no longer has the use of her limbs.

He began: “I love my wife very much and I will never divorce her. We have two very young kids that need us both. Also, my work provides us with medical insurance which obviously is very important to us. The crux of the matter comes down to sex. My wife cannot have sex. Not any kind.”

Almost a year after the accident, the couple, who are both in therapy, had a frank conversation about how to move forward with their marriage. He continued: “She thought I was going to leave her and go be with someone else. I did not have anyone else on the side. I also had no time. I was working, taking care of two kids, and assisting in her care.

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“I literally had no time for anything like that. Anyway, it led to a fight that led to me admitting that I still had physical needs that weren't being met by [myself] in the shower. This has been a situation that neither of of imagined when we met.”

Getting down to the nitty gritty, the man explained that following their conversation his wife decided to act as her husband’s wingman and find women with whom he could have sex with but had zero emotional attachment.

He added: “I do not go looking for women and I don't tell my wife what to do. When she decides that I need it she makes the arrangements. It's not perfect. It's not what I want. I want my wife to be healthy again. I want to hold her. I want to be with her. It's never going to happen. It was a private decision that we made together. And as far as I'm concerned it should have stayed private.”

Being the main breadwinner and caregiver in the household, the man and his wife jumped at the chance when his sister-in-law, his wife’s younger sibling, asked if she could move in while attending university. He told readers: “She has a partial scholarship and we let her live here so her family can save money.”

September rolled around and his sister-in-law moved in. He went on: “She helps out around the house and with the kids. In return, she lives in our basement suite and I give her some spending money. She doesn't work hours a day or anything. She might watch the kids while I make dinner or she will work in my wife's garden.”

Everything was fine until one evening when the husband went out to meet up with someone his wife had arranged. “My sister-in-law was supposed to watch the kids. Instead, she got one of her friends to watch them and she followed me. She saw me go meet a woman and go up to a hotel room. She took pictures,” he wrote.

Rather than talk to her sister, she decided to drop the bomb over Christmas lunch when his wife’s family was there and show off the ‘evidence’. He went on: “I was pissed. My wife was furious and embarrassed. My in-laws were getting ready to kick my a** until my wife spoke up and explained everything. Nobody is really okay with it but it wasn't what they thought. But now everyone knows something very private about us that we didn't want publicised.”

Understandably upset and angry, the couple has now asked the sister-in-law to leave. He explained: “She is having to commute from her parents home almost two hours each way. Tough s**t. She could have talked to us. She could have confronted me. She could have talked to her sister. Instead, she chose to be a hero and tell everyone something that was never meant to be public.

“She is begging us to come back because she now has no social life because she is traveling 3.5 to 4 hours a day. Her parents are offering to rent the basement but we do not want her here. Am I the a**hole for kicking her out?”

People reading the Reddit post were quick to assure the husband he shouldn't feel guilty in any way. One person replied: "Your sister-in-law invaded your privacy and chose to publicly shame you instead of addressing the issue privately. It is understandable that you no longer want her to live with you after such a breach of trust."

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And someone else responded: "Never a hero to stage that kind of confrontation at Christmas in front of everyone. Even if it were true, imagine how much more traumatizing that would have been for the wife? Ugh, what a snot the sister is."

Eve Wagstaff

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