Mum bans distraught daughter from spending Christmas with her 'new' family
A mother has caused controversy after admitting she won’t let her daughter from her first marriage spend Christmas with her 'new' family. The 46-year old, who has been married twice, has said that her 24-year-old daughter from her first marriage is banned from Christmas with her new husband and their two boys.
“When I was married to my first husband, he was unemployed almost all our marriage, we lived in a house his father owned, his father paid our bills, he bought us the car we drove, he sent my husband money to take care of our family, etc.” she said, setting the scene.
“When my daughter turned five, I started pushing my husband to work, I myself got a job. He didn’t want to. Things escalated and ended up in us getting divorced.” She continued: “He got full custody, while I got visitations every other Saturday (his dad hired a good lawyer, I couldn’t do that). I also had to pay child support. I used to work a full-time and 2 part-time jobs to afford my 1 bedroom apartment, as well as the child support payments. A year after our divorce, my ex married a new woman.”
The woman told how, after child alienation from the newly married couple, by the time her daughter was 14-years-old she was calling her mum by her first name, while her step mum became ‘mum’. “I tried my best to hold on to my kid,” she recalled. “I went to all the events I could go to, I planned fun days with the limited funds I had, even when I couldn’t afford to turn on the heat, I still made sure to get her a Christmas gift.”
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Sadly, by the time her daughter was 16-years-old, she made the drastic decision to cut ties with her mum, saying awful things that led to her mum heartbreakingly recognising she no longer had her in her life as a daughter. She continued: “I moved away, met a good man, married him and had two wonderful kids (my late sister-in-law's children, but I raised them these last seven years).
" Last year my daughter reached out. She was sorry, she said that she wanted to reconnect. I was hesitant and resentful, but I still talk with her once a week.” The mother was shocked when her daughter asked if she could spend Christmas with her and her ‘new' family, so she could get to know her brothers, aged 10 and 12.
“I told her that we’re not at a stage where I could allow that. It got heated, but I told her that I could not trust her with my kids, and that I was still not 100 per cent sure that I wanted our relationship to become more.” The woman, known as ultimatejourney, headed online to gauge Reddit reader reaction, saying that her daughter said she is punishing her for things she had no control over, and that how she reacted towards her when she was younger: “Was a direct result of her father’s manipulation.”
One reader simply called it a: “crossroads moment” while another said: “This one broke me. My nephew was taken from me (I had raised him for his first 10 years) and he is being told horrible things about me. Am I exhausted and heart broken and trying to figure out how to have a life in the middle of it? Of course. But you don’t give up on your kid.”
Another also felt strongly about the situation, siding with the daughter: “Sure, refuse to see your daughter ever again based on things she said at 16,” while another reader stated: “I feel like anyone saying her daughter is in the wrong needs to hear one detail. If my math is correct, she adopted her sister-in-law's kids when her daughter was 16/17. Her daughter might have felt replaced, or was even told she was replaced by her dad / stepmum.”
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