Expert shares passionate reality of a throuple from jealousy to intense desire
It's not just celebrities who are testing out non traditional relationships. Figures show one in six people have expressed an interest in polyamory and one in nine people have engaged in non-monagamous relationships at some point in their lives. Channel 4's steamy thriller, The Couple Next Door, recently got everyone talking about throuples, so we asked a psychologist whether non monogamous relationships can really work.
Picture this: Evie and Pete, a young attractive couple in their thirties, move to the suburbs of Leeds and strike up a friendship with their gorgeous neighbours, Danny and Becka. They instantly become close friends but are their new neighbours a little too friendly? The Couple Next Door was a scintillating drama that looks at the pros and pitfalls of polyamory, but while it made for gripping TV, are non-monogamous relationships a good idea in the real world?
Psychologist Doctor Louise Goddard-Crawley told The Mirror throuples and non-monagamous relationships are on the rise but there are things people must consider before getting involved. One reason for the peak in the popularity of polyamory is that these days, individuals - regardless of sexual orientation - are challenging traditional norms.
Danny, Becka, Pete and Evie strike up a close friendship in The Couple Next Door (Channel 4)"People are seeking alternative pathways to build and sustain connections," Louise explains. "This societal transformation is rooted in heightened awareness, evolving attitudes within the community and a collective desire for relationships that are more authentic and personally fulfilling.”
The psychologist adds that as discussions surrounding relationships become more open and inclusive over time, individuals from various sexual orientations are increasingly drawn to and embracing non-traditional relationship structures. "The growing acceptance of non-monogamy reflects a deeper exploration of human connection and a recognition that diverse relationship structures can contribute to individual well-being and psychological fulfilment," Louise adds.
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While throupling may be on the rise, there are some psychological tips for people considering non-monogamy. Louise says the first thing people need to do is educate themselves. "From an emotional perspective, acquiring knowledge about non-monogamous structures, communication tools, and conflict resolution strategies is crucial," she explains.
She also says it's important to seek support and connect with communities or other individuals who have experience in non-monogamous relationships as they can provide guidance and support. Self-awareness is also a key skill to have as it will help people navigate the intricacies of non-traditional relationships successfully.
"Understanding personal motivations, insecurities, and boundaries is crucial for psychological well-being," Louise explains. "While throuples offer unique psychological advantages, they also present challenges requiring careful psychological consideration and communication. As individuals explore diverse relationship structures, the emphasis on relational aspects such as consent, communication, and self-awareness becomes paramount in creating fulfilling and sustainable connections."
Louise's rules for polyamory:
Clear communication: Establishing open and honest communication is a psychological cornerstone for navigating the landscape of expectations, boundaries, and concerns.
Consent and transparency : From a psychologist's perspective, all parties involved must provide informed and enthusiastic consent, with transparency being crucial for establishing and maintaining trust.
Regular check-ins: Addressing the emotional well-being of all involved parties is essential, communicating concerns promptly to maintain relational health.
Advantages of throuples, according to Louise:
Shared responsibility: Throuples allow for a shared burden of responsibilities, fostering a sense of community and support.
Increased emotional support: The presence of multiple partners broadens the emotional support network, mitigating the psychological pressures often placed on a single relationship.
Diverse intimacy: Throuples offer the benefit of diverse emotional and physical connections, enabling the exploration of different facets of identity and desires.
Disadvantages of throuples, according to Louise:
Communication challenges: The complexity of managing communication within a throuple requires high levels of openness, honesty, and effective communication skills.
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Jealousy and insecurity: Despite consensuality, challenges such as jealousy and insecurity can arise, necessitating emotional intelligence and self-awareness among all involved parties.
Social stigma: Throuples may face psychological scrutiny, challenging established societal norms and values, creating potential emotional stressors.
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