Woman cuts her mum-in-law off after her 'racist comments' in front of grandson
A distressed woman has opened up about cutting her mother-in-law out of her son's life after her shocking behaviour - and now the solicitors are involved.
Her mum-in-law's behaviour was so unreasonable that the parent decided to stop letting her see her son, which only led to relations between the two women getting even worse, with the mother-in-law quickly threatening to get a solicitor involved to ensure she could still spend time with her grandson.
The woman posted on Netmums with her dilemma and looking for advice on how to handle her relationship with her mother-in-law, which had quickly deteriorated. "I have had a rocky relationship with my mother-in-law since I have been with my partner," the woman explained.
"We are currently not talking and I have now stopped her seeing my son. She is rude, very negative, demanding, and threatening. There was an incident about three weeks ago that really upset me and I didn't really contact her or let her see my son now it's blown right up and she thinks she can see him as and when she wants.
"I did offer her weekends but that was not good enough so now there is a complete ban on her seeing him. I have removed her from the emergency contact list and collection list from his nursery. She is threatening to go to a solicitor for access. I'm just looking for a bit of advice really. My biggest concern with her is the language she uses around my son and the negativity. I'm worried that my son will end up with mental health problems if he carries on being around her."
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In the comments on the post, the woman expanded that her partner was in complete agreement with her, and that some of her mother-in-law's problematic behaviour included "foul language" and "racist comments", something that she was "not prepared to let my three year old hear".
Commenters on the post were pretty split about what the woman should do, with most recommending that she try and get some distance, but avoid cutting her mother-in-law off completely.
"Try to maintain some contact with your mother-in-law, as family is important. However, make it clear to your mother-in-law that it will be on your terms. Advise her of the behaviour that you will not accept. As soon as she acts in an inappropriate way, then simply take your son and leave. If she wants to see her grandson, she has to stick to the rules," wrote one. Another wrote: "I'd go with rare supervised visits rather than a blanket ban".
A third commenter echoed that cutting her off completely could be a mistake, but supported the woman in wanting to set boundaries: "I always say your gut instincts as a mother are unparalleled. You know what's best for your child. I would suggest supervised visits. As call her out on the language and behaviours that aren't suitable. Some generations just were never told or understood how wrong some things are. I would also speak to your partner and ask him to get involved in the discussion more so that it takes the burden off you."
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