Woman's world crumbles after partner's affair is savagely exposed before funeral
A woman's worst nightmare came true when she realised that her partner had been cheating on her with multiple women as she attended her auntie's funeral.
Her partner was "begging" one woman to "send videos and pics", and had told another woman that she was really "pretty", and made a comment about "how big her boobs were" - and her heart sank when she clocked that the messages were sent when she was visiting her auntie who was "dying of cancer."
She said that she was "heartbroken and disgusted", and didn't know how to proceed with the relationship, divulging that the pair have children too, which made the situation messier.
The distraught mum took to Netmums to write: "So last week I snooped on my partner's phone and found messages from three different women, sent over a period of five months, most recent being the beginning of November. One of the girls he was talking to on Facebook Messenger, I then found a conversation with her on WhatsApp where he was begging her to send videos and pics. He also sent her the same and was telling her how pretty she was and how big her boobs were etc.
"Working it out, he sent these whilst I was 300 miles away saying goodbye to my auntie who was dying of cancer. I found out about it on the evening before her funeral on Wednesday night. He's begged me to forgive him and told me that he realises what he's done and regretted it straight away. He did this whilst lay in our bed in our house, whilst my children were in the next room. I'm heartbroken and I'm disgusted and just can't get my head around any of it."
'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'
She said that their relationship wasn't "great" at the time, but she said she never would have done this to him. She was also mortified that it was "three different girls" and said that she was looking "for a bit of support" and some advice on what to do next.
Other women jumped to support her, with one writing: "I'm so sorry you are going through this. My ex-husband was always messaging women he worked with but then would delete the messages he had sent. I found very flirty messages at times but I don't think he did anything physically, but I will never know. I should not have snooped and I know that, but ultimately if you snoop you have a gut instinct that something isn't right. All I can say is that I think you deserve better."
Another commented: "Sending you gentle hugs and genuine condolences over the loss of your aunt. That in itself is a lot to process and come to terms with, and will of course take time. Please allow yourself the headspace to grieve and validate those emotions.
"Your partner has behaved in a very immature and selfish way. He's given no thought to how hurt or humiliated his actions would leave you feeling. It must have been an awful shock to find those messages. Even when you have a suspicion, actually evidencing your worries were accurate is quite devastating. It's hard to know what to do. Part of you may feel angry and want him to pack his bags...another part of you might crave for him to be remorseful and want to erase the pain you're in.
"It's your relationship and your heart and mind. Only you can specify what you are willing to accept. No one has that power over you unless you hand it to them. Many men who have cheated (in one form or another) will tell you what they believe you want to hear [...] Only you can decide if you feel you can carry on in a relationship with this man and trust that he won’t repeat the disrespectful and cheating behaviour.
"It is not an easy task. Once someone you love has betrayed you in that way, it is very hard not to doubt actions in future, boys night out? Who are they with? Home late from work? Uncontactable? Sudden new hobby/gym membership? If you need space to decide, you could consider asking him to stay with family for a few days while you decide what you want going forward. It wouldn't hurt for him to know how seriously you are contemplating the future of your relationship and whether you want to have him remain in your life."
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