Girl refuses to eat after school sends home letter saying she's 2lbs overweight

11 October 2023 , 14:05

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Her daughter is refusing to eat anything (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

A school has come under fire for 'fat shaming' a student who is 2lbs over the recommended weight for their age. The mum explained how her third-grade daughter went on a hunger strike after being made to take part in a Fitnessgram test at school.

For this, her teachers took her height and weight before entering them into a BMI calculator to determine whether she was underweight, healthy, or overweight for her age. Taking to Reddit, the mum said: "They gave letters to all the parents whose children had overweight/obese BMIs. These letters were handed to the kids in front of the class and the kids were told not to open them, they were for the parents but the kids knew what the letters were for."

When the mum went to collect her child from school, she noticed something was off as she wasn't acting like her normal, happy self. "I asked her about her day and she just said 'Fine' and normally this kid talks up a storm," she added. "I kept looking at her in my rearview mirror and she was sad.

"We got home and I said, 'You seem sad, what's wrong baby?' and she broke down in tears and said she's fat and needs to lose weight. My first thought is, who the f*** called my kid fat? I asked why she said that, and she handed me the letter from her backpack."

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According to the letter, her daughter is 2lbs over a 'healthy' BMI, putting her at risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, and a "slew of other issues". The letter asks the parents to confirm they'll visit a doctor with their child to come up with a weight loss plan.

The mum added: "She was just at the doctor and he said nothing about her weight. He's very blunt so he would say if her weight was a concern. My kid is fine - it's 2lbs. I told her she's perfectly healthy and does not need to lose weight." Needing some time to cool off, the woman asked her mother-in-law to babysit her daughter while she thought things over.

Her mother-in-law took the girl out to her favourite restaurant in an attempt to take her mind off things - but she refused to eat anything. "My daughter refused to order and cried saying her school says she needs to lose weight," she added. "She went into the bathroom, hysterically crying saying she can't eat ever again.

"I am so angry. My daughter, normally a great eater, won't eat because of this letter. I don't care if my daughter is 2lbs overweight or 50 - don't make it the kid's problem. Everyone knew that if you received a letter, you had a weight problem, absolutely humiliating the kid." The woman went on to explain how she had an eating disorder when she was in high school - and doesn't want her daughter to develop one too.

She added: "I have struggled with body dysmorphia since I was a teen. My mum gave me a messed up relationship with food - she was very much into diet culture. I promised myself I would break that cycle with my babies - and now I see a problem developing in my child, I'm terrified."

While most users slammed the school for their "braindead" letters, others urged the mum to take her child to the doctor so she can hear that nothing is wrong with her. One user said: "In our schools, they didn't notify parents but the weighing part was done in front of all the students. The insecurities these weighing things 'done to keep the health in check' gave, still haunt me."

Another user added: "My school did this too, but everyone got a letter with their results, not just the kids who were overweight. She needs to talk to the school because that's how it should be. You don't single out kids. If there is - which doesn't seem like the case here - a problem with their weight, they already know!"

A third user said: "This happened in my school too! But they also made us write our names and BMI on the whiteboard and the two people with the lowest were seen as perfect examples of what to aspire to. I was one of them. Making us both stand at the front of the room, and the congratulatory/proud way the students and teacher treated us only validated my eating disorder and put it into hyperdrive. For a long time, I was convinced I had to get a lower number than the girl next to me if I wanted to stay attractive."

If you're worried about your health or the health of somebody else, you can contact SEED eating disorder support service at 01482 718130 or on their website, https://seedeatingdisorders.org.uk.

For those in America, if you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating concerns, the National Eating Disorders Association's is available by phone or text at 1-800-931-2237 or by click-to-chat message at . For 24/7 crisis situations, text "NEDA" to 741-741.