'My ex's girlfriend kisses my daughter on the lips - it's so inappropriate'
It’s something that David Beckham has found himself facing a barrage of criticism over when he’s been seen kissing daughter Harper on the lips. He has remained defiant and continues to share images on social media of the special bond he has with his little girl and defended his decision to kiss “all his kids on the lips” as simply wanting “to show our kids love”.
Obviously the Beckham kids are comfortable with their dad’s displays of affection but it’s somewhat different if the child doesn’t like to be kissed on the lips by that person. This is the situation one mum found herself in when her 10-year-old daughter told her she wasn’t happy about her dad’s girlfriend being so personal.
The worried woman took to netmums to ask for advice on how to deal with the difficult situation: “I need some advice and don't know where to turn to,” she said. “My ten-year-old daughter tells me that she doesn't like to be kissed on the lips by my ex’s girlfriend. I find this so inappropriate and don't know what to do! Any advice would be welcome. “
Other mums were united in their opinion that the little girl must be taught about choices and body autonomy. One poster shared her experiences of the situation when it came to showing children affection: “I wouldn’t kiss children on the lips but lots of people do and don’t think anything of it (age depending too)… One of my stepsons sometimes does kiss me on the lips when he’s being silly or funny but that’s him not me! However, anything like that a child is not comfortable with, we have to teach them to either say themselves so (sic) or we have to advocate for them.”
She went on to advise how best to tackle the conversation with the mum’s ex and her daughter: “Gently let your ex know your daughter has said she doesn’t like it and since you are trying to teach her bodily autonomy her preference MUST be respected, non-negotiable. Ask your daughter if she’s okay with a kiss on the cheek etc. or a hug or even a high five - find out what she’ll be happy with and suggest that instead. Make sure she knows she can always say ‘no thank you!’.”
Mum's touching gesture to young son who died leaves Morrisons shopper in tears
Another user revealed she herself had been the one who was innocently doing the kissing with her family and hadn’t realised they were finding it uncomfortable. She explained: “I work with vulnerable families/children on a CP plan. My nieces and nephews all love kisses and cuddles but when my brother’s kids came along and got to 5/6 years old they didn’t like it. I’d play with them and chase them etc teasing them and messing about.”
She went on describe the moment the penny dropped for her: “I saw my other sister doing it and it hit me like a ton of bricks … if someone twice my size was running around after me, playfully or not, and then at the end of the meeting I was told to go give them a kiss and cuddle how would that feel and what is it teaching kids about body autonomy. “
After realising how the children were feeling she said she took it upon herself to look into the matter. “I did a bit of research abc felt really quite ashamed at the fact that I’d never even considered this to be inappropriate and unfair on the little ones. Next time I saw them we had a really informal chat about (sic) and now have a special handshake/fist bumpy thing when I see them and a kiss and cuddle for my other nieces and nephews that like it.”
She also revealed that this approach had actually changed the kids’ behaviour and made them warmer towards her: “It totally changed our relationship, they are a lot calmer with me, no mad running around, and weirdly a lot more affectionate and wanting to sit down and snuggle and read a book.”
The commenter now applies this attitude to her personal life as well and agreed with the previous mum’s advice in how to speak to the ex and the daughter. She added: “I always let little ones take the lead now. Teach them from a young age if there’s one thing they have total control over, it’s their body and who touches it.”
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below.
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
