Woman refuses to donate kidney to sister despite being only match after betrayal
If you have siblings, even if your relationship is strained for whatever reason, the likelihood is that you'd do anything for them. But one woman was left wondering whether she was in the wrong for refusing to donate her kidney to her sister, as she "needs a transplant" - but there was so much animosity in their relationship that she didn't feel as though she wanted to do anything for her sibling.
The woman explained that she was a "reckless teenager" and "got pregnant at 17 and was terrified" - so when her sister Alice, who is 10 years older, convinced her to let her adopt the baby to keep them within the family, she felt like that was the right decision to make. But things took a turn and "spiralled out of control", causing the issues and the breakdown of their relationship.
She took to Reddit to ask for other people's opinions, writing: "Here's the backstory: I (29F) was a reckless teenager. I got pregnant at 17 and was terrified. My parents were conservative, and my sister, Alice (then 27), convinced me to let her and her infertile husband adopt my baby to keep it within the family. She made me promise not to tell anyone the child was biologically mine and to always act as the 'aunt'.
"However, things spiraled out of control. They moved away when my daughter, Emily, was just two. I was allowed minimal contact. They changed her last name, and I found out they told Emily that her biological mum had died in a tragic accident. I confronted Alice, and she said it was for the 'best' and cut contact completely."
The woman was obviously horrified, and was even more mortified when her daughter, who was 12 at the time, reached out to her and was "angry and confused" after learning the truth. Her mum tried to explain, but the original poster said that Emily was "resentful" towards her and her sister.
Greggs, Costa & Pret coffees have 'huge differences in caffeine', says report
She continued: "Now, Alice has severe kidney issues and needs a transplant. I'm the only match in the family. She has apologized for everything and begged me to reconsider, stating it's not just for her but so Emily doesn't lose a mother. I'm torn. Alice's friends and our extended family have been bombarding me with messages, some understanding, some extremely hateful. Emily is conflicted and has expressed she doesn't want her mother to die but also feels a deep-seated anger. My husband thinks I should donate to be the 'bigger person', but my best friend says Alice made her bed and now has to lie in it. Am I the a**hole here for considering not donating my kidney after everything that's happened?"
People reassured the woman that she wasn't doing anything wrong by thinking about it for a decent period of time, writing: "Don't forget - you saying yes doesn't mean that you will be whipped into surgery tomorrow - there is an extended period of testing and counselling which needs to be undertaken before you would get anywhere near that stage.
"To get the family and friends off your back, say you will consider it, and tell the medical teams that you are being guilt-tripped by the family and you don't want to do it, and they will tell the family that you aren't suitable to be a donor for other reasons. You won't be the first bullied and unwilling potential familial donor they will have seen and you won't be the last.
"And depending on your age, don’t forget that this is major (life-changing) surgery with a lengthy recovery period - if you can't work, who is going to cover your living expenses? If there is a history of kidney disease in the close family, what would happen if YOU developed it later on? It's better to think of yourself first here, especially as your sister has been so awful to you for so long."
The NHS shared that: "It is a major operation and comes with surgical risks, like bleeding. Infections are common after a kidney transplant. You will need to take strong medicines to lower your immune system."
Someone else pointed out: "Given how they've behaved in the past. it's very likely they'll cut you off again as soon as that kidney is in her body." Another fumed: "Your sister made those choices and cut you out. The dynamic has changed now she needs you for something serious." A Redditor raged: "They're only 'apologising' because they need one of her kidneys. F**king parasite is what that sister is."
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
