'Boyfriend's mum accidentally sent text bad-mouthing me, I thought she liked me'
For most of us, using a phone to text or WhatsApp is a second-hand nature. Most of us could do it without thinking. However, it wouldn’t be uncommon that every now and then you might suddenly get the fear you had sent a message to the wrong person. Especially if you’re talking about them in an unkind way.
While it might be terrifying for the person sending the text, imagine how it must feel to be on the receiving end of such a message. One woman found herself in such a situation after her ‘mother-in-law’ accidentally sent her something.
Taking to Reddit to share the story and how she should handle it, the 46-year-old mum wrote: “My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. We have a house together, a vehicle, and five dogs. We share all of the finances. I always thought I had a good relationship with his mum. She says she loves me and always includes me in family gatherings.
“Today is my daughter's birthday. She’s turning 15. Today is also my boyfriend's brother's birthday. He would be 39 today. He passed away in August 2021, at 37. So today I got 2 texts from her pretty much back to back. One is wishing my daughter Happy Birthday and that she has a card for her. The 2nd text said “She’s such a b***h” that I “do whatever I please” and that if I lose my job, my boyfriend “has about had it with me.”
“After I read it, I just went completely numb. I stood there staring at the text, reading it over and over again while my heart felt like it was about to pound right out of my chest. I told my boyfriend that his mum had texted someone about me but accidentally sent it to me. He looked confused so I showed it to him. He read it and then exhaled and said quietly “damn.” He did call his mum and told her she needs to stop texting and then all I heard was “yeah” and then “thanks a lot, mum” and then he hung up on her.”
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The woman explained that she knew this day was always painful for her boyfriend’s mother and although she understands emotions can get out of control, she was left feeling incredibly hurt by the message. After her partner’s phone call to his mother, she then received a text from her saying, “I’m sorry, that’s all I can say” and not that she shouldn’t take it out on her boyfriend.
After assessing the situation, the woman was left wondering how to move forward and questioned whether she and the mum could ever have a friendship again. She concluded: “My question is, would I be the a**hole if I decide to cut her out of my life? Meaning I will no longer go to their family gatherings, or speak with her and if she comes to my house, I will either stay in my room or leave the house. I honestly don’t want to be in the same room with her ever again.”
Lots of people had opinions on the matter, with many concerned about where the mother might have heard such things. One person wrote: “She seemed to say your boyfriend is ready to break it off, what makes you so sure she didn't hear that from him? You wouldn't be wrong to go low contact with her, she's made it clear what she thinks of you and you can't take her word that she no longer does. I'd be much more worried about where your boyfriend is at.”
Someone else agreed, adding: “She didn't come out with that for nothing and his reaction is an admission. He's been s****ing you off 100 per cent.” But a third person reasoned: “It's possible that she heard it from him, but it is also possible that she has been complaining about you to him and he has been giving her short agreeable answers to placate her like he did during the phone call. Either he has "about had it" with you or he is allowing his mother to badmouth you and not stepping in to stop her. Neither one is good and both deserve further communication.”
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