15 September 2023 , 14:29
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Some families have traditions when it comes to naming their children that they pass on for generations. For example, one family might decide that the first-born son must take on the same name as his dad, making him a junior. But one mum-to-be has put her foot down when it comes to her husband's family name tradition because she thinks it's "psychotic".
The woman explained that her husband wanted to name their son Carl because that's the name of every man in his family - including him, his brother, his dad, his uncles, all of his male cousins, and his grandfather. He also claimed that if they were to have more than one son together, then all of them would need to be named Carl too.
In a post on Reddit, the woman said that none of her husband's family actually go by Carl and they all use their middle names to make things less confusing, so she doesn't understand why the tradition needs to be followed. But her husband is insisting they call their son Carl and won't budge.
She wrote: "Every boy in his family has the same first name, it's Carl. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. He, his younger brother, his father, all three of his uncles, all his male cousins, his grandfather, and his great-grandfather. They are all Carl. None of them go by Carl, they all go by their second name … so all of them are Carl and yet none of them are Carl. I hate this … I didn't even know his first name was Carl until after many months of dating originally.
"If we have boys, [he wants them to also be called] Carl. I said 'Can we comprise and use it as a middle name?' No. 'Well if we have two boys, one can have the first name Carl and the second one could have it as a middle name'. No … with the reason being 'That's not fair to the second one, they will think they are loved less'.
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"To me, this is psychotic. I told my parents and they were weirded out. I have told friends who are also from the same country and culture as he is and they think it's super weird too… but he is hell-bent on this tradition."
The mum-to-be explained that her family also has a tradition of giving boys the middle name James, but she's already said she doesn't want to follow it, so expects her husband to drop his tradition too. She added she felt "childish" arguing about it with her partner but was "baffled by the mindset".
In a later update, she said that she spoke to her husband about why it's so important to him, and he said he has a "deep respect for the tradition" that makes him feel closer to his family. She also said she doesn't "have a problem" naming her son Carl, but she does still feel "weird" about giving the name to more than one child.
Commenters on the post were equally baffled by the tradition, with some branding it "unhinged". One wrote: "At first I thought he was just refusing to budge on naming one child something you hated, which was bad enough, but he wants to name EVERY SON you have Carl? That's fully unhinged."
Another added: "I would be putting my foot down on this. No one has the right to unilaterally decide a name," and a third posted: "That is enough Carls. Passing on a name no one likes enough to use, along with the pressure for your sons to do the same is an unreasonable ask."