Kate's hidden side - 'nerves of steel, palace power and firmness over Meghan'
The Princess of Wales was considered to be quiet and shy when she first started dating Prince William - but her confidence has appeared to grow. So much so that now she is one of the most popular senior royals who charms everyone she meets while on engagements and rarely puts a foot wrong. But behind this exterior, many royal experts have claimed she actually has "nerves of steel", which have seen her become respected within the palace thanks to her "soft power".
Kate has also been portrayed as the likely peacemaker, who will eventually broker a deal that will see her husband Prince William and his estranged brother Prince Harry bury the bitter rift. But now, former royal butler Paul Burrell claims the opposite, insisting Kate does not want to patch up the relationship as there is "too much hurt". So what exactly is Kate really like behind palace walls? And why might she not want to kiss and make up with Harry and his wife Meghan Markle? Here we take a look...
Confidence building
When Kate first entered the royal fold and began carrying out her own engagements without husband William, her nerves were often visible. But soon her confidence began to grow as she got more practiced at royal duties.
Kate at the Coronation earlier this year (AP)
Pictured in 2004, the princess used to shy away from the spotlight to let others shine (Tim Graham Photo Library via Getty Images)One charity boss who saw Kate's confidence blossom before his very eyes was Graham Butland, the former CEO of East Anglian Children's Hospices, who welcomed the princess to open The Nook children's hospice in Norfolk in 2019. Speaking at the time, he told PEOPLE: "In the very early days, I remember her coming into a room and her head would be slightly down and the long hair would be across. Now, she comes in with her head held high."
Mr Butland added that Kate has 'comfortably grown into her royal position' and has a natural ability to connect with people. He said: "This is not someone struggling to stay in character. That is her character."
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'Steel in a velvet glove'
And with this confidence, one royal expert believes that Kate has assumed a form of 'soft power', whereby she is strong and not afraid to air her opinions, but at the same time she is also charming and gentle - much like William's great-grandmother, the late Queen Mother.
Kate with Prince William at the Scottish Coronation in July (PA)Former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond told OK! magazine: "People always used to describe the Queen Mother as 'steel in a velvet glove'. She was always charming, gentle and much admired. But, she was also the strength behind her husband, George Vl, and at the Palace, her opinion counted. I think Kate has some of those same qualities.
"She has learned the craft of being royal over a number of years and earned her place as a senior member of the family. Gradually, she has also earned the respect of the public and, I believe, of the rest of the family. We look at her now not just as William's wife, but as our future Queen."
Passionate discussions
And when it comes to her role as a wife, a close aide told royal expert Robert Jobson that Kate is known to have passionate discussions every now and then with William. The aide told Mr Jobson, who wrote in the Daily Mail: "He [William] can be a bit of a shouter when he loses it. It’s fair to say the Duke and the Duchess give as good as they get if their disagreement results in raised voices. But they know each other so well, it usually blows over quickly – and she is, on the whole, a major calming influence on him."
Response to Harry and Meghan
One incident that is said to prompted Kate to show her tough exterior was the aftermath of Harry and Meghan's explosive tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021. In the chat, the Sussexes claimed there were 'concerns' over the colour of their son Archie's skin - but in the days after the tell-all was broadcast, Buckingham Palace issued a statement with the phrase "recollections may vary".
Kate and William with Harry and Meghan in the days after the late Queen's death (PA)According to the book Courtiers by author Valentine Low, it was a member of William's team who came up with the phrase - but it was Kate who insisted it be kept in the statement when issued to the public. Mr Low writes: "There were some people in other [royal] households, who felt it would antagonise Harry and Meghan and would go down badly and just keep the whole unpleasantness going. But it was Kate who really strongly made the argument," he adds so that Harry and Meghan's version of events wouldn't be accepted as truth.
He also added in an interview with Page Six that the determined side of Kate is something rarely seen in public but is displayed behind palace walls. He explained: "Interestingly, behind the scenes, she's a lot more steely, a lot tougher than we give her credit. She's this nice-looking woman, dresses nicely, smiles nicely, adopts sort of fairly uncontroversial charities. You know, they think she's slightly bland."
He explained that Kate "thinks very carefully about the long-term security and strength and stability of the royal family as an institution." He added: "She's good. She has a good eye on the big picture, the long game."
No going back
So will Kate ever want to have a relationship again with Harry and Meghan and offer them the hand of friendship? According to former royal butler Paul Burrell, it doesn't look like it is on the cards.
He told the Mirror: "So much has been said and people have been hurt. And I don't think they can be mended right now it's going to take time. It's still raw and the royals are not easy and forgiving. When something happens they pull the drawbridge up and you can't get in."
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Meanwhile, body language expert Judi James noted that Kate's behaviour during the joint walkabout after the Queen's death made her feelings crystal clear.
Judi explained: " At Philip's funeral it was Kate acting as peacemaker and a catalyst for a 'temporary' reunion between the warring brothers but her behaviour after the Queen's death suggested a U-turn of emotional intent. Kate was clearly, like the others, mourning a beloved grandma and mentor but in many ways, she looked firmer and more resolute than ever before."
She explained: "As the car drove up it was clear the two couples had shared the ride. The right-hand doors opened and Harry got out, followed by William. Despite their differences, the brothers kept close together and even stood together to make their greetings.
"Kate got out the other side with Meghan behind her. Kate's first gesture of intent came as she stormed around the car to join the brothers without as much as a backward glance at Meghan. She was clearly going to make no attempt to play at small talk or unity."
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