20 August 2023 , 06:00
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Sleep is a serious subject and if you can’t get enough it can play havoc on your everyday life, relationships, and mental clarity. But would lengths would you go to in order to get eight hours of uninterrupted kip each night? For one couple it means not just having separate beds, but sleeping in their own bedrooms.
Revealing their situation on Reddit, one-half of the couple wrote: “I've been living with my partner for eight years, and since 2020 I've had my own bedroom. It has honestly been the best f*****g thing ever. For as long as I can remember, I've had insomnia. It doesn't matter how much or how little sleep I get - if I am woken up, that's it. I'm done. There's no falling back asleep, my body is convinced I've slept enough and it's time to get up. I could fall asleep and only have been asleep for 30 minutes and if someone wakes me up, it's over. I can get up and take a shower, drink hot tea, meditate, listen to soothing music.. nothing helps.
“My partner's love language is touch. He would roll over in the middle of the night and grab me for a cuddle and it would wake me up every time. Or he would just roll over in his sleep and accidentally elbow me or something. Then I would toss and turn the rest of the night and be tired and cranky the next morning.”
The person went on to say they had begged their partner not to touch them while they were asleep or try and hug them but it often made him sad and dejected. They added: “I do like cuddles just not at night. It was a big point of contention for a long time. We went on like that for years. But in January of 2020, I got extremely sick. I had a bad respiratory infection and the post nasal drip, coughing, and chest congestion made it so I was just not able to breathe laying down, so I slept sitting up on a loveseat we had in a spare bedroom.”
The poster said that even after they recovered from their illness they found it hard to go back to sleeping in the same bed as him, and although they did try, always ended up going back to the spare room. The now-satisfied snoozer went on: “He also discovered he was sleeping better without me tossing and turning all night or constantly getting up to try to tire myself out enough to fall back asleep. And it just.. stayed like that.”
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Clarifying a few details, they went on to say that the couple still “visit” each other in their respective bedrooms every morning and evening for cuddles and sex, or just to hang out but that they’ll never go back to sleeping in the same room again.
The post obviously struck a chord with people who rushed to comment underneath, sharing their thoughts and own bedroom setups. One person wrote: “My parents sleep in separate rooms and I honestly think that’s a major contributor to them being married for 45 years.” While another added: “We don’t (yet) but I experience fairly severe sleep walking and talking; I wake up and say and do fairly odd things most nights. My incredibly patient husband just pushes me back to sleep, but in the future when he takes on a more demanding job and has to be on call in the middle of the night, I would definitely encourage separate rooms on those nights. I know a few other couples who do actually have their own sleeping spaces for similar reasons that you mentioned and I don’t think it’s that strange.”
Someone else commented to say that they had gone one step further and she and her partner had separate apartments, writing: “We sometimes have sleepovers, but I'm a bed/blanket hog and an early riser. He snores and moves too much....and sleeps late.
We stay at each other's place fairly late, have fun, have sex, and all the good stuff. Then go home to bed. On weekends, if we're in the mood, we'll have the other over for coffee and sex. It's been the best. We have a clear communication of we legit never want to live together - he's messy, and I'm more organized. It works!”