'My boyfriend shared bed with another woman - not everyone understands my fury'

14 August 2023 , 16:14

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She was furious he didn't tell her straight away and dismissed it (Stock Image) (Image: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

Being in a relationship requires a lot of time and trust as well as respecting your partner's boundaries. When all of these things work out, a relationship can be blissful. But when one of them is affected, it can cause bumps in the road.

One woman has shared that she found out her boyfriend of three years shared a bed with another woman whilst on a trip, and is furious he didn't tell her straight away. Sharing her situation, she asked others if she is overreacting, and it has divided opinions online as to whether he was in the wrong or not.

The anonymous woman shared her rant on Reddit as she wrote: "My boyfriend, 24, and I, 21, have been dating for three years. He went on a trip with two of his good friends who are married to one another and a female friend of theirs. The hotel room only had two beds so my boyfriend and the female friend shared one of them. He didn't tell me until he got home that this was the situation."

She explained how there was limited room, but is angry at her boyfriend's dimissive behaviour towards it when telling him she thinks it was wrong. She further detailed in the post: "He apologised for not telling me sooner but does not think there is anything wrong with him having shared a bed with her. Am I overreacting for thinking that was very inappropriate?

"How can I explain to him that this is not okay? He doesn't understand why I'm upset and I'm having trouble explaining it to him. I've tried telling him that sharing a bed is an act of intimacy, essentially, and that it hurts me that he shared that with someone else. But he disagrees since they didn't do anything. How could I better explain why this isn't normal?"

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As she asked people online their thoughts, she was met with a mixed reaction. One user agreed with her and wrote: "I would have an issue with this, too. It might have been different if he'd told you beforehand, but it's a little weird that he told you afterwards. He must know this isn't normal behaviour when you're in a committed relationship, even if nothing happened."

Whereas others have been quick to disagree, as one Redditor claimed: "I wouldn't have cared about it, irrespective of whether he told me before or after in this situation," whilst another added: "I don't really see any issue. Unless he did anything with the girl, there isn't really a problem. He probably didn't tell you because he didn't think it was important. You seem to not trust him to share a space with another woman. The question is, do you have reason to be distrustful?"

Niamh Kirk