Etiquette expert's strict rules for smartphone use - including bedroom warning
Are you guilty of phubbing? More likely than not, the answer is yes. Even if you're not sure what it means. Phubbing - the act of snubbing someone in favour of using your phone - is increasingly common. It's also terribly irritating, though that doesn't stop most of us from following the pull of our smartphones more often than we ought to.
"Everyone is guilty," William Hanson, the executive director of The English Manner, an etiquette and protocol institute, told The Guardian. Writing for the publication, journalist and novelist Paula Cocozza also recalled several emotive exchanges she encountered when researching her novel, Speak to Me.
Her anecdotes included a mother who threw her daughter's phone out of the window, and a person who destroyed a loved one's tablet. The sort of behaviour you'd expect to see on screen - when you're watching Netflix on your commute - but that's also seeping into our daily lives.
Phubbing and other forms of poor phone etiquette are causing problems outside of the digital world, however. Take for instance researchers in Turkey who found that married couples who engage in phubbing were unhappier in their relationships. Keen to get to the route of the problem, The Guardian asked etiquette pros to explain the biggest no-nos, which include using your phone on the loo and texting during a wedding.
Don't check your phone during a meal
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Unless you've set a place at the dinner table for your device, it's best left somewhere else, advises Laura Akano, who helps guide young people and adults through Polished Manners. Akano's guidance is clear. "There is no place for it at the table," she told the Guardian.
Don't take a call on public transport
When you're sharing a confined space, you probably shouldn't share your conversations, whether you're on loudspeaker or not, according to Akano.
Don't stare at your screen while walking
This one probably doesn't need explaining. Although it's unlikely you'll accidentally ignore anyone doing so, staring at your screen is the easiest way to bump into a stranger. "It's always the fully grown adults," Akano claimed.
Don't look down at your screen while talking
Following on from phone dodgems, you might want to leave your phone in your pocket when you arrive at your destination. If you don't think your companion can notice your eyes dropping to your phone midway through what they think is a delightful anecdote, think again.
Don't text during a funeral or a wedding
Yes, really. Some people need to hear this. Granted, most know to leave their phone on 'do not disturb' during a funeral, but weddings are often more divisive. According to William, texting mid-wedding is rude, however.
Don't scroll while watching TV
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The same rules apply when you're watching a TV show with a loved one. Put your phone away and enjoy your time together, say the pros.
Don't take a call in the loo
Nobody wants to hear that (unless it's an emergency). Enough said.
Don't greet your phone before your partner when you wake up
Last but not least, Cocozza's research found this is a common bugbear. It's not difficult to understand why, either. A joint Instagram scroll doesn't exactly scream romance. Hanson warned: "Get a proper alarm clock. Or put the phone on the other side of the room. It's good relationship hygiene to greet the humans before the gadgets."
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