11 July 2023 , 11:16
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When someone proposes to you, it's supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life. That all-important question symbolises your partner's love and commitment - all signified by a ring they have chosen because they think you'll love it.
One woman loved the engagement ring her now-husband gave to her - but seven years into their relationship she found out a secret that changed the way she'd look at the jewellery piece forever.
The anonymous woman took to an online forum to share the betrayal she felt after finding out her husband of five years had not only been engaged before - but he had proposed to her using the same ring as he had given to another woman.
When they first started dating, they had the usual conversation about previous relationships, but he had never mentioned the fact that he had been engaged before.
The 28-year-old woman only found out when, due to some syncing issues, some old pictures started appearing in their shared photo library. The 31-year-old husband had tried to quickly fix the issue once he realised, but it was too late, as his wife spotted an old girlfriend of his.
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Curious to find out what he was trying to hide, she went on his social media and spotted an old Facebook update - revealing he had been engaged to another woman 10 years previously.
In the Reddit post, she explained: "Then I saw a photo of his ex-fiancée and realised she was wearing the same engagement ring that I have been wearing for nearly half of our relationship. I felt sick to my stomach and confronted him about it. At first, he denied it, but eventually he told me the whole truth."
He explained that they had dated throughout college, and he had felt pressured to get married - but a year after proposing to her aged 22 they broke it off, and he was heartbroken. Four years later the couple met and fell in love, but he didn't want to talk much about his past.
She continued: "I told him that it is fine if he doesn't want to share about his past relationships, but I just wanted to know if he's been engaged, married, or has a kid. He has always denied it.
"Then after nearly two years of marriage I found out that it has been a lie. I am crushed and feel betrayed. I also feel ashamed that he let me wear a ring that he gave to someone else and that it's in all the photos from our recent wedding. I know it is just a ring, but I can’t help but feel disgusted."
"He told me why he re-used the ring. He said that he considered getting one a new one for me, but decided that since he already had a very nice ring (that he financed because he couldn't afford it when he was 22) that he would give it to me. He didn't consider the last engagement to be real so it was just a really nice ring to him. Ultimately, he wanted to save money."
The woman is now wondering whether to give him a new chance, but thinks she will "always think of how I was betrayed and it took away the special feeling I used to have".
Many people in the comment section agreed that while the ring situation was awful, the bigger issue was the fact that he lied.
One person said: "I, personally, wouldn't be able to get over it—it wasn't just one lie, but a whole web of lies—but everyone is different."
Another added: "You seem really focused on the ring. But the bigger issue, IMO, is the lying. If you do want to try to make the marriage work I would insist on marriage counselling."
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What do you think? Let us know in the comment section below.