15 May 2023 , 13:34
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With GCSEs starting this week, many parents will likely be keeping a close eye on their kids as they revise for exams - while some may be tempted to take things one step further and pay a visit to their teacher to check on their progress.
As such, one education expert has explained what some of the common phrases and words they use to describe your kids and their behaviour actually mean.
Mehreen Baig, a former teacher with over 10 years of experience, has shared some of the euphemisms teachers often say, which some people might refer to as 'code words'.
The 33-year-old told The Mirror she doesn't like to think of them as 'code' as it's not something all teachers are taught to do, it's just a way of trying to be sensitive to parents - as no one wants to hear their children or their parenting being criticised.
Mehreen has over 10 years of experience as a teacher (Mehreen Baig)She said: "I think you have to use your common sense as you realise very quickly as a teacher that parents are very sensitive when it comes to their children and their children being criticised. And often, parents can become quite defensive if you're saying something bad about their child.
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"Children naturally behave differently at home to how they would when they're with their friends and not around their parents, which is a very natural human thing to do. But as a parent, you have this natural urge to think you know your child best and your child wouldn't [misbehave], but actually, you only know a version of your child.
"As teachers at parents' evenings, for example, you learn that when you're communicating with parents it's helpful to use euphemisms or to soften what you're saying, so it doesn't seem like a personal attack on their parenting skills, but rather it becomes a conversation about how we can help improve your child's behaviour."
The expert, who has recently made a revision series called Glow Up Your Grades, went on to share some examples of this - as well as the little trick she likes to use at the start of parents' evening.
A teacher has shared the question she always asks parents (stock photo) (Getty Images)"I've seen lots of these things on social media and articles where it says if we say your child is 'a bit lively', it means your child talks way too much or 'he could do better' probably means 'he couldn't do much worse'. But it's not necessarily a code word. It's just a way to not offend parents and open up that conversation.
"One thing that we were taught where I used to teach, not as an official thing, but my older, more experienced colleagues told me in my first few years of teaching is that it's really helpful to start off a parents' evening conversation by asking the child how do you feel like you're getting on?
"Sometimes parents don't like that because they're like, 'Well, I'm here for you to tell me what you think' but teachers do that because they hope that 99 percent of the time the child will admit their shortcomings. They'll say something like 'I feel like I try hard but sometimes I talk too much' and then it's not you saying that, the child has admitted it and you can take it from there.
"That's a little trick I learned quite early on and I still use it to this day when I'm speaking to parents."
This comes after the ex-teacher shared some of the things parents should avoid doing when their kids are preparing for exams.
She explained that leaving kids alone to revise in their room all day is a big mistake.
Instead, you should be giving your child your time and getting involved.
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"The most important thing you can give your child is your time," Mehreen added.
"If you sit with them while they are revising, it means you can monitor whether they're becoming distracted - and even if they're really hardworking, you might be able to see them getting really stressed, which could mean the work they're producing isn't to a high standard. But if you sit with them, you can make sure that they've done their homework or revision and that they've done it well."