13 February 2023 , 15:44
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Can you successfully date someone with opposing political views? Should you? And why would you?
These are questions that continue to perplex relationship experts and lovebirds alike. While there’s no correct answer - and it is up to you who you date - many people struggle when posed with these thorny questions.
Thankfully, a pro has weighed in with her opinion - and shared how you can make such partnerships work, though she’s not sure if it’s something most people would want.
Talking to the Mirror, Lovehoney’s in-house sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight categorised politics as one of the many things couples often need to have a joined-up approach to.
A relationship expert has weighed in on the matter (stock photo) (Getty Images)Like money and kids, she says it’s an important topic to discuss if you want your relationship to go the distance, as opposing stances can lead to heartbreak.
"Two very polar opposite views may be easy to ignore to start off with but can quickly be the cause of some bigger issues later on," she points out.
However, she doesn’t think singletons have to write off a romantic partner if their views do not align. When quizzed if such attachments can work, she replied: "It not only depends on the individuals, it also depends on the relationship style, if you can happily live with your partner’s polar opposite politics."
Although she noted that she would find such pairings difficult herself, since she sees political views as highly personal opinions. "If you are polar opposites that is going to bring you together at some point and I can’t see that it will be particularly pleasurable," added Annabelle.
But if this is something you and your lover are facing, and you want to make things work, there is hope. "You can of course set yourself some ground rules if there are certain things that you find difficult to talk about with your partner. You can say, right, we’re just not going to talk about that."
It’s not the approach she recommends, though. Explaining her concerns, the couples counsellor said that banishing topics of conversation works as a ’band-aid’ or a ’plaster that’s not actually dealing with the issues’.
Instead, she recommends couples engage in the ’difficult conversation’ to find out the why of the matter. "Ultimately, you don’t just need to know why your partner feels and thinks that way, they need to know [the same] from you.
She concluded that it comes down to the matters being discussed, as there are several important subjects over which people will never want to reconcile their beliefs.
"You can have some amazing conversations where you are at opposite ends of the table, but somehow you have brought yourself together, and it can be a really bonding and sharing experience," said Annabelle. "But politically, it’s very, very tricky, especially if you are getting embroiled in human rights issues, for example. Then it is very difficult to reconcile two polar opposite views."