02 May 2023 , 15:07
826
0
A nurse accused of murdering seven babies conducted hundreds of Facebook searches with some related to the victim's parents, a court heard today.
Lucy Letby, 33, is alleged to have murdered five boys and two girls, and attempted to murder another five boys and five girls, between June 2015 and June 2016 at the neonatal unit of the Countess of Chester Hospital.
She denies all allegations.
Letby entered the witness box for the first time today at Manchester Crown Court to give evidence as she was asked about the hundreds of Facebook searches she made, some of which related to the parents of babies she allegedly murdered or tried to kill.
Letby was flanked by two female prison officers as she gave evidence and sat upright throughout.
Baby boy has spent his life in hospital as doctors are 'scared' to discharge him
Lucy Letby, 33, is alleged to have murdered seven babies and attempted to murder 10 others (Chester Standard / SWNS.com)Another prison officer sat in front of the courtroom exit doors.
Ben Myers KC, defending, asked if there was anything sinister in looking up on Facebook the parents of babies who she is accused of harming.
Mr Myers said: "Because, you understand, that's the suggestion that's being made, you understand? It's babies you have hurt. Is that what it's about?"
Letby replied: "It's not." Mr Myers said: "Why are you searching?"
This is corridor within the Countess of Chester Hospital's neonatal unit (PA)Letby said: "They're just people that have crossed my mind at that time. It's general curiosity that I look at a lot of people."
Mr Myers said: "Hurt them or do something to them?"
"No," replied Letby. "I was always on my phone."
Earlier in the trial, the prosecution says Letby was a "constant malevolent presence"
It is alleged she used various means to target the infants, including injections of air into their system and insulin poisoning.
Letby's diary that was found in her home (PA)Letby, wearing a black top and black trousers, told the court she had not harmed any children.
Tragedy as 13-month-old boy dies after the stolen car he was in crashed
She said she was first informed she was being blamed for the deaths of babies in a letter from the Royal College of Nursing in September 2016.
Ben Myers KC, defending, asked how this made her feel.
Letby replied: "It was sickening. I just could not believe it. It was devastating. I don't think you could be accused of anything worse than that."
She said she was also "devastated" when she was removed from clinical duties in July 2016 and told her work "competencies" needed to be checked.
Lucy Letby appearing in the dock at Manchester Crown Court in October 2022 (PA)
Letby denies all the allegations against her (Facebook)Letby said: "Because I have always prided myself on being very competent and, potentially, I was not competent, it really affected me and I was taken away from the job I loved.
"It was life-changing, in that moment I was taken away from the support system I had on the unit, I was put in a role I did not enjoy and I had to pretend it was voluntary.
"It made me question everything about myself."
Letby went on: "My job was my life. My whole world was stopped."
Mr Myers asked: "If you think back to when you were a young woman, you were 25, 26, before you were being blamed for what happened, are you the same person?"
The crimes are alleged to have happened between June 2015 and June 2016 (Facebook)Letby replied: "Everything has completely changed. Everything about me and my life, the hopes I had for the future, everything has gone.
"There were times when I did not want to live. I thought of killing myself."
Mr Myers said: "Had you done anything wrong?"
Letby replied: "No."
Mr Myers said: "Then why did you think of killing yourself?"
Police outside Letby's home in Chester (SWNS)Letby replied: "Because of what was being inferred."
Among items recovered at her then home in Chester after her arrest was a Post-it note found in a diary.
Among words written on the note were, in capitals, "I am evil I did this", the court has heard.
Letby also wrote: "I don't deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I'm not good enough to care for them. I am a horrible evil person."
Mr Myers asked: "Had you done something intentionally to harm or kill them?"
Letby replied: "No."
Mr Myers said: "You wrote 'I am evil I did this'. Why?"
Letby said: "Because I felt at the time I had done something wrong and I thought, I'm such an awful, evil person, that I had made mistakes and not known."
Mr Myers asked: "What had you thought you had done?"
Letby said: "That somehow I had been incompetent and I had done something wrong to affect these babies. I felt I must be responsible in some way."
Mr Myers said: "In what type of state were you in when you wrote that note?"
Letby said: "Not good at all. Through that period my mental health was poor."
Mr Myers asked: "How well did you cope with the situation you were in?"
Letby replied: "I did my best but it was difficult in the circumstances with the isolation I felt."
The defendant also wrote "why me" on the Post-it note, the court heard.
Asked to explain those words Letby said: "Because I didn't understand why it was happening to me. I thought I had always been competent and done my best."
Letby told the court she had cared for "hundreds" of babies during the period she is said to have attacked 17 infants.
She said wanting to hurt children was "completely against being what a nurse is".
Several rows behind, her parents, John Letby, 76, and Susan Letby, 62, looked on, as did family members of the alleged victims on the other side of the public gallery.
Letby, from Hereford, denies all the allegations.
The trial continues.