11 April 2023 , 08:52
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Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. It lets you really see what the other person is like behind closed doors, including their annoying habits. But it can also bring you closer than ever.
One woman is facing a tough dilemma because her partner of three years wants them to move in together – but she feels "dirty" in his home.
She feels so uncomfortable with his living situation and messiness she is considering ending the relationship.
The anonymous woman took to popular parenting forum Mumsnet to explain her conundrum and ask for advice on how to tackle the issue.
She is considering ending things (stock image) (Getty Images)The mum-of-two explained: "Partner has a 25% share of a one bed flat that is messy and dusty and cupboards full of c**p."
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She explained that at the start of the relationship his flat would be kept in a much cleaner condition because his parents would regularly visit – although she didn't confirm whether they were the ones doing the cleaning or not.
The woman has since made "gentle comments" about the amount of dust in his home, and suggested he should go to the tip, but he would "rather watch TV than mop the floor or tackle a room".
She explained that she feels "dirty" when she's in his home, and "can't understand him", and that he's also got "old before his time" due to his friendship group.
Even so, she doesn't want to "destroy him" because he has been "single for so long and has very few friends".
Most fellow parents in the comment section agreed that she shouldn't be moving in with him, with some suggesting she would have to end it.
One person commented: "I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who can't keep their living space clean. If he doesn't do it now, he certainly won't do it when you move in together. Don't waste your time on this one."
Another said: "Don't let him move in! If he can't look after his flat he won't suddenly turn into a tidier when he moves in with you. You'll end up resenting him, he'll be sat watching tv all day while you get slowly more p****d off doing more then you did before."
A third added: "It seems he's expecting you to take over where his parents left off. Really, what sort of grown man needs his parents to clean up after him? You sound sorry for him and that's not a healthy basis for an equal relationship."
What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comment section below.