28 March 2023 , 13:41
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A woman who believes consent is very important says she doesn't want anyone else changing her six-month-old son's nappy, apart from her and her husband. For this new mum, enforcing these boundaries is all about "setting standards early", and she would also expect grandparents to ask before cuddling her baby, rather than just "grabbing" at him.
Furthermore, her little one isn't too keen on nappy changes at all, so she does her best to make this a "positive experience" for him, stopping if he starts crying and continuing only when she's managed to calm him down.
She was therefore quite put out when her "overbearing" mother-in-law took it upon herself to change him without her permission, and she now feels it's time to "draw a line".
She's finding her mother-in-law increasingly 'overbearing' (Stock Photo) (Getty Images)Taking to Mumsnet, the concerned mum explained: "Obviously I understand if we're not available due to nursery eventually or if someone else is babysitting then I'm happy for someone else to do it however this has not yet been the case.
"A while ago, my mother-in-law was over and my baby started crying and rather than just give him back decided to take it upon herself to change him (I was standing right there). He continued crying throughout the change and she gave him back straight after but it annoyed me as it wasn't her place to change him."
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Reaching out to fellow mothers for advice, she continued: "I didn't say anything. At the time, my son was four months old and I was trying to be nice and friendly. However, I'm now starting to find her more overbearing and I'm getting close to drawing a line."
One person advised: "You should put your boundaries in on things like this and explain what they are at an appropriate time. If anyone doesn't respect those boundaries then it's their problem, not yours but you need to communicate them clearly.
"This is key to a healthy relationship with her going forwards otherwise resentment will build if you are sitting there watching her doing things you would prefer to be doing."
Another commented: "I think it was cheeky of her to go ahead and change the nappy while you were right there without so much as asking first.
"People (especially mother-in-laws) are territorial about babies and it's fine for you to draw boundaries. You don't have to accept any behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter how much people try to pressure you."
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