24 February 2024 , 14:29
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While your wedding is your big day, you should really take your family into account too.
If there's one rule when it comes to planning a wedding, it's that whatever the bride says goes. But this doesn't mean the bride gets to do whatever she wants, especially if it ends up hurting the people she wants to invite to her big day. Or, if she does go ahead with her plans, she should be prepared for people to drop out of her wedding as a result.
That's exactly what happened to one bride who was left fuming after most of her family said they wouldn't be attending her upcoming wedding - because she chose to book it on a day that was sentimental to them.
The bride's mum shared a post on Reddit in which she explained that two years ago, she tragically lost her brother, nephew, and mum in a car accident. Since their passing, the date has been a difficult time in the calendar for her entire family as they spend time mourning the loved ones they lost.
However, her daughter - who lost an uncle, cousin, and grandmother in the accident - has now decided to hold her wedding on the same day as the tragic event. The date also holds significance for her as it was the date she met her husband-to-be several years before the accident, so she is refusing to change it, and now her family have said they won't attend her wedding.
'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'
The bride's mum explained: "Two years ago my brother, my nephew, and my mother were in a car accident. My mother died instantly, and my brother and nephew passed away the next day. One year ago, my daughter was proposed by her fiancé and preparations began. During this process, they chose the date based on the day they met and that day is exactly two years since the death of my brother and nephew.
"I tried to talk to her about moving [the wedding], because it is still a very difficult date for our family and even for myself, but she insisted, saying that the venue had that date available and it would be perfect because all the other available dates aren't as good and wouldn't be so important. I respected her decision."
After the invitations were sent out, the bride's grandfather, aunt, and another cousin said they wouldn't be attending, and that her choosing the date was "offensive" to them. The bride is now "unhappy" that none of her family will be at her wedding, and her mum has told her that this is the consequence of her choosing such an important date.
She continued: "I tried to be supportive, but I said 'Love, this date is difficult even for me. I will go to your wedding, but you have to understand that this choice of date had this consequence and you have to deal with the consequences of your choices'.
"She exploded at me, saying that everyone was against her, it's not her fault the dates coincided and everyone could make an effort to go a few hours for her, but they decided to just not go and I was basically saying, 'I told you so'. She hung up without me answering and we still haven't spoken."
Commenters on the post were largely on the family's side, with many saying you can't just "get over" the death of a loved one like that, and that the bride was being insensitive. One person said: "It's been 22 years since my cousin died in a car accident … I still have a rough day on the anniversary and I know the rest of my family does too. These things don't just disappear."
And another posted: "If it had been longer since the accident, I could see trying to make more happy memories surrounding that day. But two years is awfully soon," while a third wrote: "I couldn't attend and celebrate on such a day. The daughter is being incredibly obtuse and selfish. She's lucky her parents are willing to attend."