04 February 2024 , 12:31
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One woman has asked for advice after discovering a life changing secret about her ex who she has been sleeping with.
Dating, sex and relationships can be hard and many people decide to opt for the "friends with benefits" option instead. This is usually considered a more laid back approach and not as intense as a committed relationship however it doesn't come without its problems.
One woman has shared her experience and asked for advice online so she can know whether she is being unreasonable. The anonymous poster said she had been sleeping with her ex partner since they had broken up, and were in a friends with benefits situation. She added: "We are not together and free to do whatever with whoever."
However, the poster has recently discovered something about her ex-partner and she is unsure whether to get involved or not. She said: "I've just found out, not from him, that he has been in a relationship with another woman for almost a year and she is a minimum of 12 weeks pregnant with his child."
The poster said her ex had not said a word to her about the other woman - or has not mentioned anything about the pregnancy adding: "Am I being unreasonable to tell her or should I just walk away and let them have their little family?"
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The post received over 500 comments with opinions split on what the poster should do.
One commenter said it was an "easy" decision and they should tell the other woman what was happening as she "had a right to know". However, another disagreed noting that "no good would come from telling her". Alongside this, others were criticising the poster with one saying: "You are not friends with benefits. You are the woman he is having an affair with."
One commenter sympathised sharing that they had been in a very similar position once. They said protecting his new relationship "wasn't my responsibility" and neither of them was "emotionally disrupted" by the convenient sex they had and would stop as soon as situations changed.
They added: "I didn't tell her or anybody else she might have come into contact with. They've been married for 20 years now! I should imagine he still cheats, but either it doesn't bother her or (more likely) he covers it up better than he did when we were married."
They later advised the poster to tell him that she knew about the pregnancy and ask about his plans. The commenter later advised to "knock it on the head" - although they said they were "sorry to say it". They added: "It would be really horrible to be the other woman when she's heavily pregnant or has a new baby."
"The thing is, if you tell her he's going to spin her a line about you being just desperate to break them up because you're possessive and want him back. Particularly now she's pregnant, she'll want to believe he's a great partner.
"She'll find out in her own sweet time, probably. But I wouldn't want to be the woman he's found out with. In any case, you have got to sort yourself out so may as well do that now."
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