26 December 2023 , 07:00
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Nothing shouts favouritism between siblings more than the value of a Christmas present from a parent. Or at least this is how it might seem to a brother if his sister receives almost quadruple the amount of money from their parents.
One dad took to Reddit to explain how an uneven balance of festive gifting led to a family rift. In the post, he laid down the background that resulted in his daughter being given £3,160 ($4,000) in cash while his son was given about £632 ($800) worth of presents. He said: "Our son is 22 and our daughter is 26. She bought a house in July.
"We know that moving into a new home always comes with unexpected costs, right after you've probably depleted most of your funds. So, for Christmas we gave her $4,000. Our son we gave a few different gifts totaling somewhere around $800."
However, this did not go down well at all with the son who told his parents that he was "hurt by the disparity in the value of gifts". The dad tried to reason that the gifts they bought him were tailored to his interests and that his sister buying a house was a "milestone" with many additional costs attached such as home repairs, as the parents knew all too well when they were younger.
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He said: "He said it's still hurtful because it feels like we are more proud of her than him. My wife got really frustrated when he said that and asked why he would choose the least charitable interpretation of our actions. He said that's just how he felt and he couldn't control it."
The dad even offered the explanation that money is a less personal gift and so the daughter in fact received a "worse" gift than the son. But the bitterness remained with his son, who still lives with his parents, and accused them of simply trying to justify their unfair actions. His mum claimed he was being "entitled", though.
The dad said at the time: "He skipped lunch (breakfast for him) today, and when he left for work he didn't say goodbye even though I was right by the door. My wife is irritated, and my son is clearly resenting us. I can't really decide if we're in the wrong here. On the one hand, we should be able to give our money to whoever we want. On the other, I never want to hurt my son's feelings. Were we wrong?"
The post caused a storm online with almost 6,000 users giving their views on the scenario - and many sided with the son. One said: "You could have given your daughter an $800 check or gift for Xmas, and $3200 for closing on the house at a different time/setting... Instead, now it is a very disproportional Xmas gift, which is sure to raise some jealousy."
Another noted the sizeable difference in value and said: "It’s not even a small amount either, I mean 4K and 800 is a big difference. If you plan to give him 4K when he gets a house then maybe no biggie, also dunno why your wife is so irritated by him explaining the clear disparity," while someone else wrote: "By lumping a large amount of cash into her Christmas gift, you invite unfavorable comparisons."
But not every response was on board with the son's upset reaction. One person said: "To be fair to you - your son is significantly younger and there's ample time for you to make the same gesture when he crosses this milestone, and he could stand to keep that in mind," and another branded him "spoilt".
What do you think? Let us know in the comments.