'Meddling mother-in-law orders we change our baby's name, she says it's hideous'

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Man shocked when mother-in-law insists couple change
Man shocked when mother-in-law insists couple change 'hideous' baby name (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A man has told how unwanted pressure from his mother-in-law to change his soon-to-be-born daughter’s name has put unnecessary stress on his marriage. After finally deciding on a meaningful, unique name they both loved, the couple, who are childhood sweethearts and have been together for 15 years, swore to each other they wouldn’t tell anyone their daughter’s name until she was born, urging family members at their gender reveal to also remain silent on name suggestions they liked, as well as names they didn’t.

With the husband fully focused on the birth, he revealed how his wife called him up in tears after her mum told her someone at his father-in-law’s work had named their baby something similar, saying: “It’s a hideous name. Please don’t name your baby that.” The man went on to say it didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out his wife had broken their pact, telling her mother their name choice and opening up a name-game conversation that wasn’t going to play out productively.

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The man, who is known as Asken4uhFriend on Reddit said to his wife: ”Do you expect me to believe she randomly pulls this uncommon name out of the blue just to say she doesn’t like it? Breaking the oath both our families made in front of us? The probability is so low, you should drive her to buy a lottery ticket, 'cause I’m not buying this.”

He went on to say how badly betrayed he felt by both his wife and his mother-in-law, who he said used any opportunity to criticise him or make snide comments about him to his wife, causing relentless and ongoing problems in their marriage that his wife never addressed. “My wife would never disrespect her parents or stand up to her mum,” he said. “Some people just don’t have that kind of spirit or spine, she is one of them."

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After venting his feelings on the social platform, he confessed that he and his wife were now unable to settle on a new name they both loved: “The original name is imprinted, like, I’ve known our baby girl her whole life already…This isn’t her and her mum's baby, this baby belongs to my wife and me. I’m so p***ed, hurt, confused, filled with dread, the list of low emotions is a long one.”

He finished by saying: “I’m expected to keep my mouth shut and yield to what my mother-in-law wants. I’m not allowed to speak up and draw the line. I rarely dig my heels in on issues. I choose my battles wisely. This is one I will die on the hill for. Too many boundaries have been crossed.”

One reader was quick to respond, saying: “Die on that hill my friend, because if you lose the battle over naming your OWN child to your mother-in-law she’s never going to stop coming for you.” Another agreed, saying: “She has chosen her mother over your marriage. It won’t happen once, it will happen over and over and over again throughout your marriage if you let it.

One reader said: “Such a narcissistic move that she almost certainly pulls this kind of nonsense on the regular. Your wife needs to start putting you and your daughter first, otherwise she’s gonna spend the rest of her life trying to please her mother.”

Emma Rowbottom

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