14 November 2023 , 09:00
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Many people complain about the toxic relationship between mothers and their sons, which can be detrimental to relationships and partners. Some mums may be too clingy, protective, or interfere too much in their son’s lives, which was exactly the case for one Reddit user.
One Redditer, who goes under the name throwra_10888, previously posted in the Two Hot Takes thread, but the ordeal has since been re-posted in the Best of Redditor Updates thread. In the chain, one disgruntled partner revealed how living with their mother-in-law, after the loss of a relative, took a huge toll on the couple's marriage – and sex life.
The post read: “My husband and I got married a year ago. He and I didn't live together before, in fact we hardly saw each other because we both worked and studied at the same time, so our time was quite limited. We got married and went to live together in his apartment. Unfortunately two months after our wedding his father died in an accident. My mother-in-law and my husband (who is an only child) were devastated as it was quite sudden.
“My mother-in-law, left alone, began to suggest to my husband that we move with her to her house to keep her company, but because she is from another state we couldn't due to our jobs and college. Then she came to us, our apartment is two rooms, so my mother-in-law occupied one and my husband and I occupied another. I mean my mother-in-law never liked me. She is one of the mothers who think ‘that no woman is good enough for her son.’
“As a couple who are still 'in the honeymoon stage' we had sex very frequently. Every day, even up to twice a day. This changed when my mother-in-law arrived, since the apartment is small so I didn't feel comfortable doing it with her living there.
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“The thing is that when we did have sex with my husband, my mother-in-law magically ‘interrupted us.’ It didn't matter what time it was, even if it was 3am she casually got up and knocked on our door asking ‘What are we doing?’ Or telling my husband that she feels bad because her head hurts or things like that.”
Not only does the mother-in-law disrupt their privacy, but she criticized her son’s partner and accused her son's partner of stealing her belongings. The post continued: “This has been going on since my mother-in-law moved in with us, it's been a stressful seven months. Besides, I have no privacy of any kind, she criticizes everything I do, especially my food.
“My husband tries to give me my place, saying things like: ‘it's not true mom, the food tastes good.’ What really annoyed me was the fact that she started saying that several things of value and money were lost in her room casually the day I stayed at home. (I had the day off from work and study in the afternoons).”
It all became too much. The post went on: “I really got fed up, I told my husband that this really wasn't what I expected. I agreed to let her move in with us because my father-in-law passed away and I was really trying to be empathetic to her and her pain, but I'm not going to let her call me a thief.
“Now I'm at my parents' house, my husband keeps calling me and sending me messages to come back, but I don't know what to do anymore. This is really stressful.” However, the couple have kicked out the mother-in-law and are now back on track. An update on the thread read: “I returned with my husband last Thursday. While I lived with my parents we were talking and seeing each other.
“The first time I agreed to talk to him I told him that he really had to do something about his mother because our relationship was going down the drain. He kicked his mother out. She didn't take it so well. Remember how I told you she wanted to sell her house? Well, she actually did, she put her house up for sale. What surprised me so much is that she listed her house for sale at well below the average cost considering where that house is located. Apparently she was about to close the deal with some potential buyers.
“She hasn't communicated with anyone since she left. We also don't know if she returned to her house. And now everything is fine. My husband also thanked me because he couldn't stand having his mother in our apartment anymore. I also made it very clear to my husband that if his mother had behaved differently I would never really have minded if she stayed with us. I feel a little bad for her but she really brought it on herself, I was always kind despite her treatment.”
However, she is not the only one who is fed up with mother-in-laws and their outrageous behaviour. A separate Redditer commented: “I really really don't get women who get this way about their sons. They act like their precious baby boy is cheating on them by getting a girlfriend or wife, or even speaking to another woman. It's so f***ed up and gross. I gag just remembering how my mom basically called my brother her 'perfect man' and acted like a flirty girl with him even in public. Imagine a 50s year old woman clinging all over a teenage boy, sitting on his lap and giving him long mouth to mouth kisses. And she'd get angry and interrupt when I (his sister) did so much as say hi to him. Yeah, totally normal motherly behaviour that didn't mess him up.”
Another added: “I hate these kinds of situations where she has to leave their own home just to get their partner or spouse to recognize that they f***ed up somehow or aren't supporting them in the way they should. Why must it always go to extremes for people to take their partners seriously?” While other Reddit users were disappointed by the husband who didn’t speak up himself, despite being frustrated with his own parent’s actions.
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One commented: “Here's a husband who couldn't manage to have a grown ass adult conversation with his own mother. Husband seems a bit man-child ish to me.” A separate Redditer added: “Pity he couldn't use those adult words to have a conversation with his mother before his wife was driven out of her own house.”