'I want to rehome my stepdaughter - she's manipulative and a pathological liar'
A man has come under fire after admitting he wants to 'rehome' his stepdaughter Lilly. The husband, who goes under the name Outside_Flamingo_246 on Reddit, has been married to his wife for two years, and together for double that time, but has clashed over where his stepdaughter should live.
Taking to Reddit’s “Am I The A***hole” thread, he wrote: “My wife brought a daughter – Lilly, 15, into the relationship, Lilly was a one nightstand that occurred when my wife was in college, the whole situation was significantly traumatic for her. Shortly after Lilly was born my wife’s parents took Lilly in while my wife moved across the country to pursue her career and grow as a person.”
As a child Lilly was cared for by other relatives, and only in the last three years has lived with her mum and stepdad, though they didn’t see eye to eye. He continued: “From then on it’s been a constant battle between who takes care of Lilly. When Lilly was six her paternal grandparents took her in, then when she was nine it was her paternal aunt, then when she was 10 to 12 it was shared between my wife and her parents. From 12 onwards it’s been solely my wife taking care of her.
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“Lilly and I both moved in with my wife around the same time, and due to my wife’s request I attempted to form a bond with her. Now, I must admit I had scepticism initially due to the amount of homes she’s been cycled through, so I feared a lot but I pushed through for my wife’s sake.
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"I have struggled significantly although. Lilly in my opinion is manipulative and a pathological liar. Living with her has been awful, and my wife turns a blind eye and refuses to acknowledge or do much about her behaviour because she feels guilt for not being there for her much when she was younger. Everyday is a nightmare because she does things to provoke everyone around her, I’ve never met more of a conniving and vindictive child.”
While Lilly and her stepdad don’t get on, Lilly’s biological father has shown a more “active role” in her life, and would like full custody of his daughter, which the stepdad is on board with, but Lilly’s mother is not. He explained: “Recently Lilly’s father has been trying to play more of an active role in her life and Lilly has not been completely open to the idea. Recently, Lilly’s father took her on a trip and has been pushing for taking complete custody of her – my wife has disagreed completely saying it will uproot her life and that as her mother she knows what’s best for her.
"About a week ago Lilly’s father came and dropped her off after spending some time with her and he asked me about the likelihood of my wife changing my mind about full custody, I said the chances were slim, but in my opinion I think it would be best for everyone. He then asked me to put a good word in for him and try to convince her on his behalf.
"A couple of days ago I brought the situation up and my wife dismissed it, but I kept pushing (maybe my fault). Nonetheless, she snapped at me saying I always hated Lilly and that she didn’t understand how I, a grown man, could have such a grudge towards a child. She berated me for five or so minutes, then stormed off, called me an a-hole and has been accusing me of countless things to my family and friends. Family and friends are mostly on her side here, I just don’t get what I did wrong?”
However, Reddit users largely side with Lilly, and feel she has been likened to a stray pet in the thread title. One commented: “This girl is 15-years-old. Has anyone asked Lily what she wants? This poor girl has been shuffled from home to home to home her entire life like an unwanted pet. Of course she has behavioural issues. She has never had stability. Lily should be in therapy and all of you should probably be in family therapy as well. You need to determine what is best for Lily and who is going to have her best interest in mind. Who is going to finally stand up for this girl and give her the help she needs. If her mom is incapable of doing this then maybe her biological father is the better option but that decision must be made by Lily.”
Another fumed: “A teenager is difficult? Maybe you shouldn't talk about her like she's some stray you found on the street, that might help things. I can't believe they chose to say "rehome" her. He should rehome himself.” While some blame the stepdad for his “jealousy”, other readers have pointed the finger to the mum.
A separate Reddit user commented: “That psycho was jealous of a child from day one did he really think we would side with him when it was clear he hate her, I hope his wife dump him.” Another wrote: “The wife is a massive piece of s**t and the guy isn’t far behind. Another user vented: “No stability in life and feeling unwanted by your family (especially your mother) and you wonder why she's not a "perfect" child!?!? Talk about delulu."
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