Expert warns parents against 'phubbing' in front of their children
Are you guilty of 'phubbing' in front of your children? Most likely, the answer is yes, even if you're not aware you're doing it.
Phubbing is the act of snubbing someone in favour of using your phone, and it's something many of us do, knowingly or unknowingly, in our everyday life. It can be incredibly annoying when you are trying to talk someone while they have their nose buried in their smartphone. But according to experts, if we do it to our kids we could be causing them harm.
Psychologist Mary Alvord, co-author of Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens, stressed that it's incredibly important to give children our undivided attention when they need it. She told Very Well Mind: "I think the big question here is… are parents giving undivided attention when their kids need it? Or are they shooing them away more than usual? It happens to everybody sometimes. The key is how much."
According to Felice Martin, NeuroCoach+ NeuroLeader at Behavioral Health Associates of Georgia, ignoring kids, for example in favour of our smartphones, can impact them both physically and psychologically. She said: "Parents rely on the convenience of smartphones (ie, alarms, book reading, scheduling, news, social connections, etc), thus creating a sense of dependence. In fact, we often hear parents comment that they 'can't go anywhere' without their phone."
Studies have shown that children who are raised in supportive environments are more likely to thrive - which includes getting the attention they need from parents. Realistically, parents can't be engaged with their child 24 hours a day, but when they are ignored completely, the hurt they feel is very real.
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Felice continued: "The pain of being ignored is experienced both somatically (physically) and psychologically. The brain does not distinguish pain, it just tells the body and mind, 'I’m hurt'. Phubbing can make a child feel inadequate, lonely, rejected, and dismissed. Researchers have found that children become anxious or depressed when ignored. He or she may think they are insignificant When children begin to think this way, they often isolate. They will also overcompensate negatively or positively to get any type of attention."
According to research, children who are ignored are more likely to experience feelings of depression and anxiety, get poor grades in school, or have other struggles later in life.
But that's not all. Research has also found that phubbing can harm other relationships in our lives. A study published in Psychological Reports in Turkey found that people who engage in phubbing were unhappier in their relationships. Take for instance researchers in Turkey who found that married couples who engage in phubbing were unhappier in their relationships.
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