'My controlling mother-in-law scolded me for not dressing my newborn properly'
Mother-in-law or monster-in-law? While some people find their lives wholly enriched by their partner's mother, others struggle to maintain good relations - particularly when the mum-in-law in question is overbearing, controlling and critical.
Now one woman has opened up about her experience with her husband's mother and spoken in detail about a number of upsetting instances that have taken place in her home.
The couple recently welcomed their first baby together after years of trying; the little boy arrived early and so they spent three weeks in NICU. Happily, they all recently returned home and have been inundated with visitors ever since - including the grandparents.
"Lately, I have had extreme anxiety when they come over because his mother has been incredibly overbearing to a point where I feel insulted," the woman admitted on Reddit. "Each time they visit, she is constantly staring and analysing how I am taking care of my child and making comments on what I 'should' be doing or what she would do. Mind you, my husband was born in the 80s and she has not taken care of a baby since.
"This came to a head the other night when she flipped out on me for sitting my child up to burp him. She for some reason believes you can't do that to a newborn, even though it's exactly how they showed us on the NICU. It would have been one thing if she actually had advice, but what she was saying made no sense and how she said it to me was incredibly rude and condescending. She also went on to comment on how he was dressed (not enough layers), how he was being fed (because he was drooling), and kept calling him by his middle name."
Baby boy has spent his life in hospital as doctors are 'scared' to discharge him
The woman goes on to list other examples of her in-laws' shocking behaviour, which includes telling her she gave birth "the easy way" (emergency c-section), his father grilling her about breastfeeding (which she is not doing for multiple reasons), his mother texting her two days after giving birth asking her not to name the child their chosen name because she doesn't like it (she now refuses to call the baby by anything but his middle name), and his parents questioning what she was doing that caused her son to come early.
Having reached her limit, the new mum explained that she spoke to her husband about his mother's behaviour but that this only resulted in a fight. "He told me that I'm overreacting, constantly miserable around them and I should 'get over it'. Now he is saying that he wants to move out and raise our child separately," she revealed.
"I do want to add that my husband and his parents are from a different country. They have lived in the US most of his life, but there are barriers at time culturally. Regardless, I’d like to know if I'm the a**hole and overreacting - is this just how in laws are?"
People were quick to react to the post, with a number urging the woman to seek legal advice - particularly since her husband has said he wants them to raise their child separately. One stated: "If you genuinely believes he wants to move out and raise the child on his own, you need to talk to an attorney immediately. As in, call an attorney tomorrow to determine how best to protect your custodial rights. If this was just him being malicious then I'd take a step back and tell him that you would like to pursue couples counselling.
"If your parents live in your state I'd 100% move with the baby there. If there is ANY chance he could leave the country with the baby, let the attorney know that immediately and let them know that you want him only to have supervised visitation under court order until everything is resolved with the courts."
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.
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