'I'm furious at my husband's birthday present - but he says I'm ungrateful'
Giving and receiving gifts can be at its best incredibly rewarding and at its worst completely stressful. There is no better feeling than watching your friend or family member open a present you've chosen and for their eyes to light up with appreciation, but sometimes - no matter how much effort you put in - you'll find that what you think is the perfect thing for your loved one, only for it to fall totally flat, with disappointment written all over their face.
Knowing whether to hide your displeasure at an unwelcome gift isn't always easy, but for one woman she found it impossible to hide that she didn't like what her husband had done for her birthday, leaving him branding her ungrateful.
The woman posted to Reddit seeking advice on whether she really was ungrateful for her husband's contribution to her birthday or if she was right to be angry with him. She explained that she had been telling her husband for the fortnight ahead of her birthday that all she really wanted was some "alone time" because she was constantly taking care of her two children - aged four and 10 months - when she wasn't working.
She explained that on her birthday, she "came home from [the] pharmacy" with food shopping in tow, along with her kids to find her husband "baking a cake and putting it in the fridge. He goes: 'It’ll probably be the worst cake you ever ate but pretty.' So I said, 'you know what is like instead of a cake? Some alone time from the kids.''"
She then explained that her husband "proceeded to ignore the girls and I for the next 4 hours while I made dinner and got them ready for bed—he was decorating the cake and running to the store 20 minutes away for more frosting." At 10pm, he was finally finished icing the cake and the woman said that while he was "excited" she told him she "was angry because instead of time away from the kids I basically did all of dinner/baths/bed by myself again so he could bake a pretty cake I didn’t want or ask for.
'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'
Her husband had already sent photos of the cake to their parents and she informed him that she felt as though she was set up to look like the bad guy, to which her husband replied she was "ungrateful and he did nothing wrong." The woman provided further context that recently her husband had spent a large amount of money on a car, and then had asked her if she'd like her birthday present to be a kayak that cost $500 [£411] "before dropping a bunch more money" on it.
She admitted that she "snapped and said when am I going to use a kayak I can't even go to the grocery store alone? So he obviously agreed not to get the kayak. Somehow the cake was a better idea than just babysitting the kids for a few hours when I’m not working".
Commenters all rushed to voice their support for the woman, with many pointing out that taking care of your own child doesn't really count as "babysitting". One advised the woman: "Next time you need a break, take one. 'Honey I'm going out for 2 hours. You have the kids.' If he is unresponsive to suggestions then you have to tell him what’s going to happen and follow through."
Another wrote that "He clearly made that cake for his own benefit (probably enjoyed making it, bragging about it to your parents and likely getting praise from them, and eventually eating it), and didn't really care what you wanted. You told him you wanted alone time. He gave you the opposite of that, and made you parent alone on your birthday."
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