Woman 'can't trust' her husband after spotting eye-opening group chat message
Trust is a fundamental part of any successful and healthy relationship. It goes hand in hand with honesty, communication and respect - and once that trust is broken, it often leads to the total breakdown of partnerships.
A woman has now reached out for advice after revealing she feels like her husband is hiding something from her and it's making her question their entire relationship. The 23-year-old revealed she and her spouse (28) were watching TV with their children when she spotted something on his phone.
Writing on Reddit, she explained: "When I got up to ask him something (don't remember exactly what I was gonna ask him), he put his phone on his lap and I happened to see a picture of some instamodel showing off her butt. I asked him 'what was that about' and he said it was a group chat with his boys. I asked him for his phone but he did not let me see it."
She further revealed that she had confronted her husband over it and that he said he didn't want to show her the chat because he had liked some of the photos his mates had sent. He then proceeded to delete the group chat.
"He's making it seem like it's not that serious but I honestly feel gaslit and betrayed," she concluded. "I feel like I cannot trust my husband anymore and I also think he's hiding something else. How can I proceed after this?"
Viral sausage roll debate leaves Brits confused about how to order at Greggs
Her post attracted a number of comments. One person wrote: "My suspicion is that the 'something he would not want [you] to see' is that he gawks at other women with his buddies. I'm not sure there's something else he's hiding beyond that. Gawking at other women is itself plenty enough to hide; he knows full well that many women, like you, would be upset at that.
"I think the way you proceed from there is to talk with him about respect in your marriage. The default action cannot be 'if I want to do something that would upset my spouse, I hide it'. Respect demands that you would either refrain from it, or talk to your spouse and agree on ground rules."
A second person agreed: "Coming from a guy who also got in trouble for a similar situation I can promise you that 99% of the time it's us being immature idiots and I took full responsibility lmao. This happened at the very start of my relationship, I learned my lesson, and haven't done anything like it since.
"I can also promise you, even though it's not right, almost every guy in a relationship I know does looks at insta models… I'M NOT SAYING IT'S RIGHT! You're completely valid in your feelings, and if he does it again, that's a different story. This may not be a popular answer amongst the ladies, but from a guys' perspective you should still trust him but obviously gas lighting isn't ok."
And a third person reasoned: "This situation sucks, don't get me wrong. I do feel bad for you, and a conversation needs to be had here. But nothing in what you have said describes gaslighting. You both have a different opinion & perspective on the situation, but that doesn't mean that he is gaslighting you.
"I can see that you also now don't trust him because he wouldn't give you his phone & deleted the chat, but I can see why he did it. At the end of the day, that was a private conversation between that group who did not consent to having you read their conversation. If the tables were turned, and one of your friends allowed their husband to read through a girls' chat that you were part of, even if you personally had nothing to hide, how would you feel?
"I am not defending or excusing him calling you insecure here, and like I said you do need to have a conversation with him about his overall behaviour. Just don't start accusing him of psychological abuse because he was sent a thirst trap."
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
