Man breaks up with girlfriend after she tried to 'resemble his dead wife'

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The man has been inundated with comments after sharing his story (Image: Getty Images)
The man has been inundated with comments after sharing his story (Image: Getty Images)

When you're grieving your partner, it is difficult opening up your heart to the possibility of love. And for one man, the idea of a new romance seemed impossible when he lost his wife of seven years when they were both 28. Together, they shared a son, now ten.

Then, a little over a year ago, he met a new woman. Very slowly, they started a relationship - and at first, she was "amazing". "I told her about my past and that my son comes first even before our first official date. She was very compassionate and understanding about everything. After a few months of smooth sailing I decided to introduce her to my son and they got along great as well. For the first time after [my wife's] death I could start to see a possible future with someone else," the man anonymously confessed on Reddit.

But four months ago, things started to change. She started to become distant and said she was feeling a little neglected and that she also felt he was using her as a 'replacement' for his late wife. The man was shocked - and a little confused - but he felt guilty she was upset, so he apologised and arranged for them to have a few more date nights, which she seemed happy with.

A few weeks later, she left town to attend her cousin's wedding; he couldn't go because of work commitments. Upon her return, he asked to see pictures to which she replied that there weren't any of her. However, a co-worker later showed him one taken from a private page on Facebook - and he was shocked to see that she was wearing an expensive pair of his late wife's earrings.

He confronted her, she got mad, but eventually broke down and apologised. After a serious talk about boundaries, they decided to move on. It didn't last for long. He soon noticed that his ex started to change her physical appearance - from changing her hair colour to match his late wife's, to changing her clothes, and getting the same piercing. "The final straw was when she got a tattoo that was almost the exact same as my wife's. It was in the same spot, same color, just with a slightly different design. That was my final straw," he admitted.

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"She wrote a long letter to me saying she loves me so much but obviously I don't feel the same, and that maybe if she was dead too I'd love her even a fraction of how much I loved my dead wife. I'm distraught over this, she's been so strange lately but before all of this I really did love her. My mom and siblings keep on saying that I'm awful for pushing her to this point and that instead of ending it I should've doubled down in reassuring my love for her. They all got along great with her and had been hinting that they wanted us to get married so my son would have a mother again and possibly some siblings."

He concluded: "I didn't think I was the a*****e but my whole family is being cold to me and I have no idea what to do. They're saying I should go visit as soon as possible and support her with this to rekindle our relationship. I'm not sure if I want to do that. She's so unhappy with me and seems obsessed over my dead wife. I keep on thinking over this and wondering if I should've reassured her of my love again or broken up with her in a more tactful way. Am I the a*****e?"

The man was quickly inundated with messages of support and advice. "Not the a*****e, she seems unstable. Do not get back with her," one urged, while a second echoed: "She's very manipulative if she's got his family convinced."

A third wrote: "Your family is wrong. She sounds very unstable and being married to her would be a LOT of work and not good for you or your son who does not need that kind of instability."

Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.

Gemma Strong

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