'My cheeky friend keeps inviting himself over for dinner and comes empty-handed'

23 October 2023 , 14:43

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The woman is left feeling conflicted (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images)

Paying the bill at a restaurant can get awkward, especially if you're in a large group and haven't all agreed on how to split the owed sum. But have you ever felt put out by a friend who comes over for dinner rather than a fancy meal out?

One mum is feeling frustrated with her male pal as he never offers to pay money towards meals she cooks, and doesn't lift a finger for the washing up either. She says he always invites himself over to her place for dinner, without bringing any food or offering to clean the dishes, leaving her feeling as though she's being taken advantage of.

Initially, the mum-of-three didn't have a problem with his regular visits - as he offered her comfort after her husband had died - but now she doesn't know how to approach the matter with her friend.

Asking for advice on the parenting forum Mumsnet, the anonymous woman wrote: "[Am I being unreasonable]...to think that if YOU ask for an invitation to eat round someone's home... You should at least come with a bottle/pudding/flowers or some sort of thank you... If not.. Then help clean up after? I have a friend who lives alone and has no children. I'm a single parent to 3 girls. 2 teenagers (18,15) and 1 toddler (2). He likes to come round for the atmosphere and I suppose busyness. The chaos for a better word."

She noted her friend randomly comes over unnanounced, and is a picky eater. He will break her 'no phones at the table' rule that her children follow by looking up the ingredients in dishes before eating it all, then waiting for someone to take his plate. After his desert is brought to him, he demands a coffee. She continued: "Just writing this my blood is boiling!! Am I just seeing things differently? I would come with something and d*** well help out!! I wouldn't feel comfortable being waited on hand and foot when something so nice had been done for me. Especially at the fact HE ASKED FOR THE INVITE! It would be a curtious thank you I suppose. I would wash up at the very least. Bring pudding... SOMETHING!!"

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Sharing their advice on the tough situation, one person said: "Say something? Can you bring a pudding and wine next time please." Another person added: "Use your words and tell him to bring pudding for 5 next time or 2 bottles of wine or a cheese board. He is one cf! Get the kids to tell him no phones at table."

Meanwhile a third wrote: "Grow some confidence and tell him in a friendly but direct manner that your bringing your kids up to see everyone is equal so he can rock up with things and help to tidy after or he's not invited again."

Ayaan Ali