Woman 'withdraws wife privileges' after boyfriend refuses to propose
Despite societal pressures, there's no hard and fast rule on when to propose to your partner. Some people wait decades while others pop the question within months - it's all relative and personal to your relationship.
With that said, one of the most challenging moments in a relationship is when one of you is ready to take the next step and the other isn't, as it can really affect your self-esteem. One woman has found herself in this exact scenario, confessing her boyfriend is reluctant to propose to her after being together for seven years.
The 29-year-old woman told her partner she wanted him to pop the question as a sign of his committment, but she sensed he was 'dragging his feet' after he started making up excuses about not being able to afford a ring. Questioning his priorities, the woman said he had no problem buying an expensive motorbike 'he always wanted since he was a kid.'
Taking to Reddit, she said: "When we were half a year from reaching our 4th year anniversary, I had revisited the topic of marriage and told him I was expecting to get married. He was finishing up his master's program at the time and said he wanted to get out of student debt again and get his finances in order. I bit my tongue and understood that we are partners and I can try to meet him halfway. He earns good money and we already moved in together 2 years into our relationship, and did long distance when he was in his master's program. My job is remote, so I moved into his hometown 3 hours away from the OG."
She added: "When I initiated a discussion again, I could sense he was dragging his feet. He didn't have enough money for a ring or savings for a wedding when he would very well buy the motorbike he always wanted since he was kid. He said our life is good as is, [askin] 'why do we need a stamp of validation from the world? You are on your one health insurance so what's the point?"
'I don't want children staying up late at weekends - I really need adult time'
After taking advice from her sister, the woman decided to take action. "All of this just left me heartbroken," she wrote. "Why don't I deserve to be his wife, after being his girlfriend for so long? Does he not love me enough to make a romantic gesture for me? Choosing me over his useless bike? I talked to my sister who got engaged 2 years into her relationship and her approach was simple yet effective. She told me to withdraw all wife privileges from him until I get that title, that he has to 'earn' me - not cleaning and cooking for him, moving out, not pay for his expenses sometimes - stuff like that."
Heartbroken, the woman issued her boyfriend an ultimatum, and said she wouldn't renew the lease on their home if he refused to propose to her. She's vowed to only 'act like a wife' when she's asked to be one. "My boyfriend got mad because I didn't renew our lease with him, and told me that's a very poor way of handling things and we need this constant in our life to preserve that intimacy, telling me that's the kind of precedent I am setting up for our eventual marriage," she concluded.
People flocked to the comments section to offer up advice, and one person had some brutal words to share: "Do you really want to marry someone who's only willing to even consider it so you'll start doing his chores and paying his bills again? Just break up and find a guy who's actually enthusiastic about the idea instead of continuing to argue with this one about why he should care."
Another person expressed he may not want to marry her. They wrote: "I'm going to say some things that are going to hurt. He doesn't see himself getting married to you. That's why he hasn't proposed. What you are doing now isn't going to help you to have a good healthy marriage. You need to break up."
A third stated an ultimatum would only force him to marry her sooner, which he may regret later down the line. "He doesn't want to marry you. Giving him an ultimatum will only make you both resentful. You either accept your current position or keep it moving."
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