16 October 2023 , 15:06
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Many of us have been there when that first date with a potential partner runs a little dry. The nerves are naturally high during a first meeting and good conversation is key to securing a second date. You're enjoying the company of your date and feel (or hoping) that they feel the same too.
But then suddenly the words don't come as easy and you begin to sweat over what to say next, something genuine that doesn't sound silly. Luckily, one therapist is trying his 'best to save your relationship' with a series of TikTok videos packed with helpful romance tips.
Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counsellor from Portland, Oregon, posted one particular video designed to assist anyone on a first date. The one-minute video, called '5 first date questions that reveal important information', lists a series of conversation starters that he believes will keep the date flowing well. Below are the details of each question along with Jeff's reason for asking them.
What are you most passionate about?
Jeff said, as he sits on video dressed casually in a blue hoodie: “This question helps you understand their priorities, interests and what truly excites them. Or, it can trigger a mini existential crisis about how meaningless and empty their lives are.”
Who is the most influential person in your life and why?
He continued: “This question can reveal their values as well as the type of people they admire and look up to. Do they exclusively list cancelled male comedians? Great info to have.”
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What book, movie or TV show has had the biggest impact on your life?
He went on: “This can help you understand their taste in entertainment, the types of stories that resonate with them and most importantly what TV show they routinely falls asleep to every night. Personally? I’m a 'New Girl' kinda guy.”
What’s your favourite childhood memory?
Jeff, who has 2.8 million TikTok followers, said: “This can provide insights into their upbringing, family dynamics and the experiences that shape them and fun teasers about the unresolved trauma that could manifest in a future relationship.”
Do you have any unusual or quirky habits?
He finished off by saying: “This can provide insight into their personality and help you discover unique traits that make them who they are. As well as super f***ing annoying s**t they love to do that you’ll want to fully consider if you’re thinking about giving them a second date.”
The video has been viewed more than 37,000 times and has received hundreds of comments of vary responses. One user said: "Just when I couldn’t love you more, I learn you’re a New Girl guy," while someone else added: "I’m literally on my way to a first date right now and I came to your page to get questions and wow! You just posted this, thank you."
However, one of Jeff's followers admitted: "I love you but, I would feel so uncomfortable asking these questions and answering them. Talk about being put on the spot. I like authentic organic chat." Another was left unimpressed by the tips and likened the questions to a job interview: "If someone asks me these questions on a date like I’m in a job interview, I’m just getting up and walking out."