Behaviour expert claims you should only show two emotions to young kids

15 October 2023 , 06:00

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Children only need to see two emotions from their parents, according to one expert (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

If you want to avoid confusing your children with complex emotions, you should only show them two – excitement and neutral, according to a parenting expert. However, there were differing opinions on whether this was the right advice among some commenters on the popular video creator's latest post.

In a TikTok video, ApparentlyParenting, who has more than 28k followers, claims that: "Young kids don't care about your emotions. 'Look at my face, daddy's sad.' Young kids, just show them two emotions. "Show them excitement when you're doing the things you like and neutral, when you're giving them a demand or when they're doing things you don't like. More complex emotions can come later on, when they're four, five, six, seven years old."

One emotion to show is neutral (apparentlyparenting/TikTok)

Excitement is the other emotion the expert advises parents to show (apparentlyparenting/TikTok)

However, one user said: This is not true for my son. He's a bit over two but can change his behaviour if he sees I am being disappointed/sad." Another user said: "When I am upset/crying in front of my young kids, And babies, they all come to comfort me. They understand the main emotions of people. You've got to allow it."

And replying to that comment, ApparentlyParenting seemed to roll back a little on the original content of his video, saying: I’m with ya! I should have stated it clearer that it’s about our fake emotions... our attempts to change their behaviour by manipulation."

Others did agree, though, and one person said: "Yep! Having fun in the mirror with my one and a half year old and he could only copy 'excited' and 'happy'. Did not understand how to change his face to sad or mad." And another parent said: "I really don't understand why this is better than making children comfortable with real life emotions."

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To which ApparentlyParenting replied: "This video is about trying to change a child’s behaviour through changing our emotions. Hope that makes sense. Real emotions come out and kids will react how they will... we can give them tools to help others through their emotions."

Paul Donald