12 October 2023 , 16:40
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When your child is about to do something you don't want them to, there is one method you should never employ to stop them. Behaviour Analyst and father-of-four, ApparentlyParenting, who "apparently wants to help parents… parent", has warned mums and dads that this particular 'game' is the one you should never play with your kids if you want them to listen to you.
And in a video on TikTok, he explains that there is a really simple solution to encourage your children into behaving properly with the minimum of fuss, no tantrums, no tears and a lot of fun. The expert, who has 28,000 followers on the social media site, said: "You can play whatever game you want with your kids, except for one. Try to never play the 'Are you gonna to stop me?', game."
The video shows a young child about to be naughty and he tells him: "Don't even think about it, no, no, no, you better not." He then adds: "To you, it's infuriating, to them, it's fun.
"Instead, just ignore it and redirect them. Move onto the next thing. Over time, they'll figure out that game they used to find fun... is really boring, because it doesn't get them anything they want. Redirections can be endless and can be random.
In the video, he then plays with a beaded bracelet and asks the question: "I wonder how many are on here? Let me count." Continuing the theme of redirection, he then adds another couple of examples: "I don't know if I'm gonna have a cookie after dinner, or have some fruit. I can't believe we saw that frog today, I never see frogs."
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And experts at the Children's Lighthouse Early Learning school agree, saying: "By redirecting the behaviour, you are not just 'making it' through the moment but teaching your child other coping skills and ways to deal with their emotions."
Other TikTok users were delighted with the advice, with one obviously stressed parent saying: "I needed to hear this." While another said they'd adapted it so their child understood the difference between tones of voice: "I always play the don't do it game for fun, then they can say that real don't do it is real, because he knows the tone of my voice when its fun."