08 October 2023 , 16:33
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Finding out the gender of your baby can be a life-altering experience. For many parents who choose to find out the gender before their child is born, it's the moment in which it really sinks in that you're really about to welcome a baby into the world, and whether you find out during an ultrasound or decide to throw a gender reveal party, it can be sentimental for people.
However, one dad-to-be has landed himself in hot water with his wife after he left her feeling "embarrassed" at their gender reveal party. The man explained he and his wife never planned on having children, but when she fell pregnant anyway, they decided to keep the baby - despite the man not being "the happiest" about the decision.
And because the man still had reservations about becoming a dad, he was nowhere near as "ecstatic" as his wife when the time came to find out their child's gender. He admitted he failed to match her "energy" at the party, and once their guests had left, his wife accused him of "embarrassing" her in front of their loved ones.
In a post on Reddit, the man said: "My wife is seven months pregnant. It came as a complete surprise, as my wife had been taking birth control regularly. We had originally planned to not have any kids, but my wife changed her mind after her first ultrasound. I respected her decision, even if I wasn't the happiest about it.
"I already was not happy, given the circumstances that I did not want to have any children. I still participated to show support to my wife though. Once the gender reveal happened everyone including my wife was ecstatic. She went to go hug me and I hugged her back, just not with the same energy. She looked at me with a concerned face but went off to hug some of her friends and family.
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"Once it was over and we got everything put up she blew up at me. "She said I embarrassed her in front of her family and the least I could've done was pretended I cared. I told her I didn't really see a point in throwing a party just because of the gender but she wanted to do it so I agreed. She said that she understood that I didn't really want to have a baby but that since they were almost here, I should probably lose the attitude already."
The mum-to-be told her husband she had thought throwing a gender reveal party might make the situation feel more real to him and change his mind about having the baby, but he insisted he wouldn't apologise to her for "not showing any emotion". He said he would need "time to adjust" and believes his wife should respect that.
Commenters on the post encouraged the man to try going to therapy before his child arrives so he can work through his emotions in a safe environment, and if that doesn't work then he needs to consider getting a divorce, as they said they were concerned he would "resent" his baby when they're born.
One person said: "Sorry to say, but unless you think you can pull it together and generate some excitement, I think you should look into divorce. If you're going to be simmering with resentment for much of the child's life, that's awful for all involved," while another added: "I think your world is changing dramatically in a way which you weren't prepared for, and that therapy is almost definitely required. It's not wrong to be freaked out, but you've decided to go ahead with this, and now you need to find a way to come to terms with it - ideally before the kid arrives, so you can parent your child in the fullest and best way possible."