06 October 2023 , 13:49
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A woman has been 'hiding her real identity' after her teacher started ridiculing her over her unusual name. The now 31-year-old claims her "teachers made fun of her" growing up because she has a long double-barrelled surname in a community where most people only have one family name.
Taking to Reddit, she said: "My mother never wanted to get married and “give her name up for a man” hence the surname, and I grew up very working class, but no one cared about that so I got a lot of grief over my name when I was young. Not just from other kids, everybody. Adults threw stuff at me. Teachers made fun of me. It never fit on any nameplates or anything like that and it just made me stick out."
After years of defending her uncommon surname, the woman decided to "hide" it from the world, instead using her middle name when introducing herself. "It also disadvantaged me practically because even though I was one of the poorest in my school, teachers overlooked me for assistance because they assumed I didn’t need it. That’s how awkward it is," she added.
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"Halfway through university, I just got sick of explaining it to people and just started using my middle name instead, which is common to many of the women in my family and it has worked out a lot easier ever since. I work in a sales job now, and I know for a fact that if some of my client base knew my whole legal name, they’d probably be hesitant to work with me. I know it’s ignorant and as an adult I can see it’s all nonsense, but it just makes my life ten times easier."
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However, her mum "hates" her using her middle name as a substitute for her surname, saying she is "denying her heritage" and trying to "hide" who she really is. She said: "I told her the truth - it’s too long for a start and it’s easy for her to say and I just want an easy life without having to explain the entire history and context of my name every time it comes up.
"She then said I’m hiding who I really am and pretending I’m someone I’m not, and started on about how I should talk to my counsellor because it is clearly a deeper issue. I told her to stop projecting her weird hang ups on to me and just accept what I’d told her. We are at an impasse on this and she said if I ever get married and change it she’ll never forgive me."
Commenting on her post, one user said: "you’re an adult and can have whatever name you choose at this point. To say that you can’t change it if you get married either? That’s a level of control that she no longer gets to wield."
Another user added: "If you have people physically and mentally abusing you over a name I would try legally changing it. If where you are it's illegal to change your name then congrats on your future wedding lol. Seriously though, you can honour your heritage in other ways, the name is just a temporary word."