05 October 2023 , 09:37
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Gender reveal parties have become increasingly popular in recent years as couples find fun ways to find out what they are expecting. From glitter cannons to confetti balloons and coloured cupcakes, it's a special event for the parents-to-be, who are usually joined by family and friends in celebration.
However, one woman recently revealed that she 'ruined' her friends' surprise twin gender party - and she is being applauded for it.
The 30-year-old and her husband, 37, don't have any children, but they are friends with three couples that do; couple A have 2 sons, while couple B and C are currently pregnant. They have a close bond with couple B, who go out of their way to make them feel comfortable and don't talk about their pregnancy.
The wife of couple A, meanwhile, always hands over her kids to them when they visit because she and her husband 'need time to relax'. And Couple C are now 14-weeks pregnant and recently asked the woman in question to come to their gender reveal party, further sharing that they are expecting twins, which they also want kept a secret until the party. "It hit hard, made me emotional," the unnamed woman confessed on Reddit. "And told my husband on the way home that they were having twins and I don't want him to get startled at gender reveal day."
There's a heartbreaking reason she felt the need to warn her husband. The couple have suffered many miscarriages throughout their 6.5 years of marriage. "First one was on 2017 at 19 weeks, second in 2020 with twins at 8 weeks and 14 weeks, and third one in March of this year at 9 weeks. Last miscarriage happens day before the couple A's 2nd son was born," she shared.
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"We were quite devastated at losing our baby in March. We informed all our friends through text that we were miscarrying and we need some time to heal. Around that time couple B also fell pregnant and they were considerate about our feeling so they didn't reveal their pregnancy and told us at the end of July. It was hard for us but we were happy for them."
She continued: "Couple A and C have never considered our feelings, only think about theirs. We went to visit couple A's baby when it was 11 days old and she handed me her baby and disappeared for 1 and half hour. It was hard but I held him and cared for him. After coming home I cried holding my husband. She never asks us how we are feeling or if we are okay. When she tells us to look after them we do that and never say anything to them. It is hard for us to take care of them cause we haven't healed through our losses. We don't say a thing and just look after their kids."
At the end of her emotional post, the woman revealed that she had told couple C that she had confided in her husband about their twin announcement because she needed to consider his feelings. Rather than being sympathetic, however, the couple accused her of ruining their surprise stating that she hadn't considered their feelings.
She then asked the Reddit community for their opinion - and people rushed to share their thoughts. "First, I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you and your husband," one reader wrote. "I'm not even sure why you're friends with A and C. They've shown a callous disregard for your feelings. Go low contact for a while and enjoy time with B."
A second added: "I am so sorry. NTA. Couple A sounds insufferable and couple C sounds selfish. Tell Couple C that they should know by now that there are no secrets between you and your husband and if they didn't want you to tell him they should have been explicit. Because you wouldn't have agreed to host their gender reveal."
A third said: "Telling just your spouse is not 'ruining' the surprise for anyone but your spouse, and they should know why this wouldn't necessarily be a happy surprise for him. I honestly think it's a little callous for either B or C to ask you to be involved in their gender reveals given your experiences and a little flexibility on their part to ensure you and your husband are in the right headspace is not too much to ask."
And a fourth concluded: "[You] did the right thing telling her husband about the twins to prepare him ahead of time. It's not like he went running around telling everybody. [You] need to hand the responsibility of that baby shower back to couple C. Let them figure it out."
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.