22 September 2023 , 12:08
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It's not uncommon of someone who has been in a relationship for a long time to be asked when they are going to have kids. Or, if you have siblings around you that have their own family, you might be asked when it's your turn.
But it's no one else's business, and it can be quite uncomfortable question for a whole host of reasons - including if you're not able to have children. However, when one woman used that as a way to stop her parents pestering her about getting grandkids, it split opinion - because it's not true.
The 25-year-old recently visited her parents, and as usual they told her she needed to "find a man" because her "biological clock is ticking", among other cruel comments like she's "destined to be an old spinster" and will "never get married or have kids".
Taking to Reddit, the anonymous woman wrote: "We have this conversation every time I visit every few months and I'm sick of it. I'm not child free and do want kids, but once I'm financially stable and am not working 60 hours a week to afford my rent."
Their comments made her "annoyed and snippy", and to stop them nagging her, she told her dad that her gynaecologist had told her she was infertile, and that she's "mourning all the children she'll never have". She told him that him bringing the situation up hurts because the "wound is still fresh".
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She explained that her parents apologised, and while they've stopped mentioning it, the lie has spun out of control as she's received messages from friends saying how sorry they are for her, and urging her to try adoption. She added: "I'm beginning to feel bad for lying just to get out of an uncomfortable conversation."
The post has really divided opinions, with people understanding that it's uncomfortable to be asked, but that she shouldn't have lied because it insensitive to those who can't have children. One forum user said: "It isn't your parents' business, but if everyone just lied and said they were infertile, it would take away from those who actually are infertile. If this caught on enough and became widespread, eventually a claim of infertility would be questionable. Don't do that to the actual infertile folks. For some it is a tragedy."
Another said: "You should have just been truthful. It's not as easy nowadays to afford having a child." However, another said: "Sometimes you need to tell people white lies to get them to stop asking questions. The fact that they told everyone your personal medical data (real or fake) is a HUGE d**k move. Sorry you have to deal with people like this in your life."
A second added: "I've told my in laws that I'm infertile to avoid the question. They all shut their mouths and never asked about it again. It's incredibly rude to ask someone when they're going to settle down and get pregnant."